Restless

The past month or so has been very inwardly tumultuous for me. I am restless and anxious. I feel like I'm on the edge of some important and necessary changes in my life; a period of chaos before I can evolve to a higher stage of development. Sometimes I catch myself feeling so joyous and excited about life! There is so much I want to do with my life! And then there are always a million things to worry about, the chores to maintain one's life, the day job, etc. the basic stuff of life that can be rather boring. There is always the constant struggle between one's mundane life and the desire for an extraordinary life. I feel I am getting closer and closer to "following my bliss" or even that I might have found it already and have been living in it for a while and wasn't consciously aware of it. I am so grateful and amazed about life!

A recap of what I've been doing and thinking lately. It has been a whirlwind period:

• I've been working on some music I'm really excited about. As soon as I have it completed (hopefully in a month or two) I will post a link here.

• Books I've been reading: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig, The Life We are Given by Leonard & Murphy, Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and The Spiritual Guide by Michael Molinos. Soon I will read A Brief History of Everything by Ken Wilber, and A Guide for the Perplexed by E.F. Schumacher.
  

• Saw the film, Into Great Silence. Amazing, real, beautiful, and deeply lived lives. The guys in this monastery probably have a deeper experience of life in one year than most of us do in a lifetime! This reminds me I need to get back and pay a visit down south to this place. Stunning! If only we could all live our lives with such focus and intensity.
  

• Visited the Minneapolis Institute of Arts and focused intensely on three rooms full of Medieval and early Renaissance art. I've been spending some time learning about the Middle Ages, its art and history. I didn't really know much at all about these subjects. I hope to make future trips to the museum, ideally once every couple of months. It is so worthwhile and meaningful to learn new subjects and really spend a lot of time learning and thinking. It is so easy to get stuck with a few interests or hobbies. I need to break out into new territories of learning.

• I experienced a terrible phone call at my day job a month ago. It really disturbed me and shook my foundation. I need to do some shadow work on it. I will share my writings on that in the future. It is still percolating and reverberating in my psyche.

• I've decided I want to write a book! I am currently brainstorming topics I'd like to write about before narrowing it down into something specific, with chapter contents and a main title. I've wanted to write a book for years and years. Life is short and isn't going to stop for me to get my act together! Now is the time.
  
  
• Continuing to make progress with my ILP Kit. Almost daily exercise and meditation are now part of my routine, even after a week with a nasty flu. If I go a day or two without exercise I really start to miss it, a feeling I never had before. And I can tell how much of an impact exercise has had in rehabilitating my back from the herniated disc. I have had absolutely no lower back or leg pain since early February! It is miraculous!
  
  
• I'm really excited about the whole idea of an integral life! There is something great about pursuing and applying an integral approach to life and living. One of my biggest goals in life has always been to live life to the fullest and cultivate myself to my highest potential. Why else are we here on this Earth? Is life not a fantastic opportunity?