My brother sent me the following link and asked me what I thought. Here's the YouTube video:
10 questions that every intelligent Christian must answer
This was my response:
Thanks for the video! I used to ask exactly the same sorts of questions about 6 or 7 years ago, and would get very angry with Christianity, until I learned that there are higher states of consciousness, awareness, perception, and interpretation. There are many ways to see and comprehend our existence and many ways to explain why life exists. This topic (i.e. the credibility of faith, religion, believing in God, etc.) is HUGE and would be very interesting to discuss in person over some delicious wine or other beverages. :-)
Before I point out a few things, I would just like to say that I do not have any agenda. I am not interested in proving that I am right and you are wrong, or that everybody should convert to Catholicism. I am still and always have been very open-minded and tolerant. I used to call myself an atheist. I dabbled in Buddhism and Taoism. I see value in all spiritual paths and even the path of no path. I'm just going to try and explain a little bit where I'm at spiritually these days, and how I would respond to such questions as are in the video.
Again, the topic is so huge that I really cannot convey, in an e-mail, all of the ways of looking at religion, or Christianity in particular. But here are a few points to think about:
The video is clearly coming from a very rationalistic, scientific point of view. There is nothing wrong with that, but that's not the only way of comprehending reality. We in the Western world, since the time of the philosopher Descartes (who came up with the concept of "I think, therefore I am" which put a very powerful mental dividing line between body and soul, matter and spirit), have stopped seeing the world from a unified spiritual or transcendent perspective. Instead, we are all taught to dissect and explain everything with a rational, scientific mindset. People in our society are concerned with proving that something is true or false. This also, in turn, leads people to read the Bible literally (and actually that was the kind of response that created Christian fundamentalism: some Christians got scared of science but ironically ended up applying the scientific ("prove it to me") mindset onto the Bible itself to prove, in the terms of science, that the Bible is true; the same can be said in radical Islam - fundamentalism is a radical rejection of scientific materialism and modernity).
The mistake in all of this is that you cannot take the Bible, God, faith, spirituality, etc., literally. Of course you cannot prove there are such things as miracles or that God exists. Of course God is not going to regrow an amputee's arm or give you a raise rather than feed the starving children. God is not some fairytale creature who magically dispenses healing or rains down punishment (the "angry Father" type of God of the Old Testament is a primitive projection, showing the stage of development of the people who wrote it at the time). That is taking the miracle stories literally, which misses the point of religion and leads people to ask the wrong kinds of questions.
Certainly it is fine to read the Bible on the literal level or as poetry or as a piece of literature; but there are many more levels than that (which, by the way, Freemasonry, leads you to experience). Virtually all spiritual texts, as far as I know, contain an inner (esoteric) truth and an outer (exoteric) truth. Remember watching Joseph Campbell? The same is true in mythology (and yes, Christianity is a mythology, too; mythology contains truth, especially inner truth). The outer truth is what everybody is getting hung up on. The outer truth is to take the words of the Bible literally, or to apply blanket black-and-white thinking like "My God is the right one and yours is an idol" or "Gays are going to Hell", etc. People love to argue at this level, and many think that that is the only level there is in religion. The outer level is also where most of the arguing about morality and ethics takes place.
But it is the inner truth that people should really be concerned with. If you read the Bible in the mindset of that inner esoteric truth you will find that concepts like "miracles" are referring to an interior state of consciousness. Take any story in the Bible, whether it is the birth of Christ, Noah's ark, the tower of Babel, whatever it is - these things are not necessarily literally true (they may or may not be - that's not the point and it's actually not really that important!!), the key is that they point to an INNER truth. You apply these stories inwardly, to your spirit, heart, or mind. It is about your inner development as a human being, realizing your divine nature and oneness with all that is. It is NOT about proving whether there really was a Noah or not, or even a real Jesus. The purpose of religion is to guide you, your mind, heart and spirit, into a greater awareness of the divine nature in you and in all of creation. It is to learn, experience, and apply a transcendent form of love that includes all beings. This is a transcendent awareness or consciousness. This is what God is really all about - that experience of oneness, that is true reality.
This type of consciousness is beyond rational understanding or proof by scientific means. Of course science is going to poo-poo and say this is all garbage. Science is good for explaining things within the realm of science (i.e. the material world, bodies, planets, things, physical existence). But it is a misapplication of science to try and use it to explain spirituality or the transcendent mindset of God consciousness. The West has gotten into trouble by deciding that the scientific mindset is the ONLY valid mindset, the ONLY way to interpret reality, and that it can be used to explain EVERYTHING. That is not true. Science is very limited and cannot explain everything. If we could break out of that viewpoint and see that there are higher stages of being, higher states of consciousness, awareness, perception, and interpretation, we would stop fighting over the lowest levels of consciousness (literal fundamentalism), and start to realize there are larger realities we have been missing. Science has validity in the realm in which it is concerned - science, but we shouldn't use it as our sole foundation for explaining everything.
What are your views?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Myths of Modern Times
The following is a fun quote from Myth and Reality by Mircea Eliade, regarding the power of myth in our modern times:
Mythical behavior can be recognized in the obsession with "success" that is so characteristic of modern society and that expresses an obscure wish to transcend the limits of the human condition; in the exodus to Suburbia, in which we can detect the nostalgia for "primordial perfection"; in the paraphernalia and emotional intensity that characterize what has been called the "cult of the sacred automobile." As Andrew Greeley remarks, "one need merely visit the annual automobile show to realize that it is a highly ritualized religious performance. The colors, the lights, the music, the awe of the worshippers, the presence of the temple priestesses (fashion models), the pomp and splendor, the lavish waste of money, the thronging crowds - all these would represent in any other culture a clearly liturgical service... The cult of the sacred car has its adepts and initiati. No gnostic more eagerly awaited a revelation from an oracle than does an automobile worshipper await the first rumors about the new models. It is at this time of the annual seasonal cycle that the high priests of the cult - the auto dealers - take on a new importance as an anxious public eagerly expects the coming of a new form of salvation."Interesting to contemplate! Can you think of any other myths generated by our society and consumerist culture? I think the key to personal evolution, intellectual development, and spiritual growth, requires that we stop and take a deeper look at the images and messages being fed to us. Especially in the United States, we are bombarded, practically from birth, with messages from the mass media, the government, the educational system, and corporate interests, to look, behave, conform, and consume in certain ways. If an individual doesn't stop to question the validity of such messages it would be very easy to succumb to them and develop a false sense of self, not to mention a mindless sheep mentality. We must each learn to think for ourselves, to ask critical questions, and develop our own unique identity, separate from the demands others. Life is too short to squander it by behaving as a puppet or a slave of others. We must seize our personal destinies and make the most of every second to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, to help each other, the planet, and all living things. Tune out the noise and false reality. Find your true inner self.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Your body is your thoughts
Lately I have been pondering the connection between health and the mind. I have always believed, to some extent, that the human mind is very powerful and that thoughts or beliefs can affect one's health. I have seen examples with my own eyes of individuals with positive attitudes being able to overcome terrible traumas or diseases, beating the odds. And vice versa, I have seen individuals with negative attitudes die sooner than one would have expected, or suffer much more in both body and mind. The hard part for me is wondering how far one can consider the power of the mind. Could it be true that really ALL physical and mental illnesses are caused by one's thoughts? I offer a few quotations:
A few quotes from Chapter 10, "The Idols of Sickness," in A Course in Miracles:
Do we really realize and comprehend how powerful our thoughts really are? And not just our conscious thoughts, but the buried thoughts, fears, and memories in the unconscious? I think it is the unconscious, our "shadow" self, where we really need to explore and find the true source of all our sufferings. I have been trying to look at my own life experiences, especially with my health problems of this year, to see if there are some deeper issues hiding in my unconscious that might be causing my physical ailments. I don't have a clear answer (since I don't yet know how to dig into my unconscious and resolve my issues - yet) but I do have some theories (which I may share in a future post).
The hardest part, however, is looking at one's self and saying, "I made myself sick with my own thoughts!" On the surface, this would seem to only pile on more guilt and blame. After all, if I am having health problems, I must have been thinking some bad thoughts to cause them! I am responsible. Yet, I think we have to realize that the primary source of the illness-inducing thoughts must be in the unconscious. At the conscious level we may not even have any clue what the issues are in the unconscious (thus, obviously, that's why it's called "the unconscious"). The mind has some powerful tricks, like denial, for making us conveniently "forget" traumas that are too much for our conscious mind to handle. If you knew what your issues were you would find a way to resolve them (usually). Instead, the issues can remain buried for years, cropping up in insidious ways, in the form of health problems, depression, projection of anger onto others, etc. You are fighting inwardly against yourself, but against a force that has no face and is basically invisible.
So this is where I'm at: where do I go from here? If I suspect I have unresolved issues causing my health problems, how do I deal with them? I have plumbed the depths of my personal history, memories, and waking consciousness through journal writing, reflection, and meditation (and continue to do so, as there is no end). But how does one tap into one's unconscious? And how can it be done carefully and cautiously so as not to cause further damage? I will keep exploring. I recently ordered Ken Wilber's Integral Life Practice kit, which does include work on the shadow. I'm hoping that could be a start. I will blog about my experiences with the kit in the future.
Finally, I would like to add a few more quotes about the mind-health connection. I read an amazing article this week. You can read it online here. Try, if you can, to suspend your judgment before reading it. Of course, on the rational-mind level, there is a lot that can be hard to swallow. Yet, my intuition is telling me that there is some real truth being expressed. I am coming to the conclusion, more and more in my life, as I get older, that one has to keep questioning everything. Don't just believe what the masses tell you, or do what people have been doing for years merely because "tradition" says you should. Question everything and come to your own conclusions.
A few quotes from Peter Ragnar:
According to the Course [A Course in Miracles], the mind is so powerful that it is the cause of everything it feels. Our feelings are produced by our internal beliefs, not by external circumstances. Now imagine that our primary belief about ourselves is guilt, which says, "I deserve to suffer; I deserve to be unhappy." If we really do believe that (however buried that belief may be), and if our beliefs really do produce our emotional states, then what else could that belief do but produce a condition of misery? In the Course's view, all suffering is self-imposed punishment for presumed sin.According to the Course, sin and guilt are illusions created by our egos to reinforce our belief in separateness from God. The feeling of guilt is already deeply ingrained into our minds when we come into this world. To overcome sin and guilt we must practice forgiveness and come to the realization that our separate identities and the universe itself are illusory. This realization, a "change in perception," is what is referred to as the "miracle" in the book's title.Robert Perry, Path of Light
A few quotes from Chapter 10, "The Idols of Sickness," in A Course in Miracles:
To believe that a Son of God can be sick is to believe that part of God can suffer. Love cannot suffer, because it cannot attack.So what does this all mean? I can understand this logically, but the hard part is actually living this reality at the deepest level of one's being. It is easy to say, "Yeah, everything is one and there is no separation and no separate self apart from God." But how do we get to the point where one really, really believes it and lives it?
When a brother is sick it is because he is not asking for peace, and therefore does not know he has it. The acceptance of peace is the denial of illusion, and sickness is an illusion.
The Sonship [the Course's term to describe the oneness of everything. Everything that we perceive in the universe, including every person, animal, thing, etc., is referred to as a "Son of God"] cannot be perceived as partly sick, because to perceive it that way is not to perceive it at all. If the Sonship is one, it is one in all respects. Oneness cannot be divided. If you perceive other gods ["other gods" refers to "idols" - believing that you are sick is the equivalent of worshiping an idol, something false] your mind is split, because it is the sign that you have removed part of your mind from God's Will. This means it is out of control. To be out of control is to be out of reason, and then the mind does become unreasonable. By defining the mind wrongly, you perceive it as functioning wrongly.
You are not sick and you cannot die. But you can confuse yourself with things that do. Remember, though, that to do this is blasphemy, for it means that you are looking without love on God and His creation, from which He cannot be separated. Only the eternal can be loved, for love does not die. What is of God is His forever, and you are of God. Would He allow Himself to suffer?
Do we really realize and comprehend how powerful our thoughts really are? And not just our conscious thoughts, but the buried thoughts, fears, and memories in the unconscious? I think it is the unconscious, our "shadow" self, where we really need to explore and find the true source of all our sufferings. I have been trying to look at my own life experiences, especially with my health problems of this year, to see if there are some deeper issues hiding in my unconscious that might be causing my physical ailments. I don't have a clear answer (since I don't yet know how to dig into my unconscious and resolve my issues - yet) but I do have some theories (which I may share in a future post).
The hardest part, however, is looking at one's self and saying, "I made myself sick with my own thoughts!" On the surface, this would seem to only pile on more guilt and blame. After all, if I am having health problems, I must have been thinking some bad thoughts to cause them! I am responsible. Yet, I think we have to realize that the primary source of the illness-inducing thoughts must be in the unconscious. At the conscious level we may not even have any clue what the issues are in the unconscious (thus, obviously, that's why it's called "the unconscious"). The mind has some powerful tricks, like denial, for making us conveniently "forget" traumas that are too much for our conscious mind to handle. If you knew what your issues were you would find a way to resolve them (usually). Instead, the issues can remain buried for years, cropping up in insidious ways, in the form of health problems, depression, projection of anger onto others, etc. You are fighting inwardly against yourself, but against a force that has no face and is basically invisible.
So this is where I'm at: where do I go from here? If I suspect I have unresolved issues causing my health problems, how do I deal with them? I have plumbed the depths of my personal history, memories, and waking consciousness through journal writing, reflection, and meditation (and continue to do so, as there is no end). But how does one tap into one's unconscious? And how can it be done carefully and cautiously so as not to cause further damage? I will keep exploring. I recently ordered Ken Wilber's Integral Life Practice kit, which does include work on the shadow. I'm hoping that could be a start. I will blog about my experiences with the kit in the future.
Finally, I would like to add a few more quotes about the mind-health connection. I read an amazing article this week. You can read it online here. Try, if you can, to suspend your judgment before reading it. Of course, on the rational-mind level, there is a lot that can be hard to swallow. Yet, my intuition is telling me that there is some real truth being expressed. I am coming to the conclusion, more and more in my life, as I get older, that one has to keep questioning everything. Don't just believe what the masses tell you, or do what people have been doing for years merely because "tradition" says you should. Question everything and come to your own conclusions.
A few quotes from Peter Ragnar:
Because I feel that we have ultimate control to the degree that we're conscious. If we are conscious enough, we can make anything happen in our body. We can preserve this body or we can kill this body.
It's very simple to see how people kill their bodies with their thoughts—it's a product of their unconsciousness of causes and effects. If we're conscious of our thoughts—I mean luminously conscious of our thoughts—those thoughts then impregnate the cellular structure of our body in a way that is very, very difficult to explain. When you have an abundance of life force inside you, it pours out of your eyes. It comes out of the palms of your hands as heat, as healing heat. It radiates as if you swallowed the sun, and you are different. Now, with that type of dynamic and powerful energy inside of you, how can you die?
I'm probably out there by myself on this one, but I feel that we do have ultimate control of our body, because our body is a thought. It's filled with frozen memories—memories that are formed by our experiences that we have already reached conclusions about, and we've emotionalized those conclusions and frozen them into our flesh. Therefore, only when we thaw it out and release, and stop holding on for dear life, can we have dear life.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
All flesh is grass
From today's reading of the day, Isaiah 40:
It is good to keep the eternal in mind. It is so easy to get attached to our physical, material world and especially to our bodies. We think our little ego identity is permanent, fixed, and will go on forever. When we're young and full of vitality we think our body must be indestructible. How quickly pain or suffering can remind us otherwise.
A voice commands, ‘Cry!’
and I answered, ‘What shall I cry?’”
– ‘All flesh is grass
and its beauty like the wild flower’s.
The grass withers, the flower fades
when the breath of the Lord blows on them.
(The grass is without doubt the people.)
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God remains for ever.’
It is good to keep the eternal in mind. It is so easy to get attached to our physical, material world and especially to our bodies. We think our little ego identity is permanent, fixed, and will go on forever. When we're young and full of vitality we think our body must be indestructible. How quickly pain or suffering can remind us otherwise.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Observing My Frustrations
Today is just one of those days when I wake up and it seems like nothing is going right and my life is running on an endless treadmill to satisfy the needs of others before myself. I've noticed that these feelings crop up especially after several days of sleep deprivation, combined with running around almost every evening after I get home from work. Plus work lately has been much busier than normal, adding to my exhaustion. The accumulation of exhaustion and never having a full hour or two for quiet contemplation just gets my ego fired up to scream, "This isn't fair! What about me?! You have neglected my needs!" I observe my thoughts and feelings going by. They seem pretty extreme and irrational. They are like a little child who didn't get the toy she wanted and bangs her fists on the wall in a temper tantrum. Sometimes you just realize that you don't always feel light and happy every day. Our psyches also include the shadow. And rather than repressing or denying one's feelings, sometimes it is necessary to feel our anger or frustration to the fullest; to let off the steam so it doesn't accumulate on the inside, leading to health problems or depression (i.e. anger turned against one's self).
This is not the first time I have had such feelings. It happens several times per year, followed by vows of changing my life, making lists of resolutions for self-improvement or changing my habits or schedule. The latest realization for changing my habits includes two new elements:
1. Wake up at 4:00 AM every day and go to sleep soon after I get home from work and eat a light dinner. It seems that I am most productive and alert first thing in the morning, as opposed to when I get home from work. After work I am getting tired and slowing down. I come home from work and face a bunch of chores, like cooking dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc. Only after I've done my chores do I start to think about doing the things I really enjoy (reading books, writing music, etc.), but of course I am really too tired to do everything, and end up neglecting those things I care most about. The chores get almost done (but not always, especially if I am too tired after work and feel 'entitled' to goofing off, wasting yet more time) but my music composition never really starts. My personal dreams and goals get set aside indefinitely until some 'perfect' day off from chores, or other excuses, shows up (which rarely happens).
Thus, the new idea is to wake up at 4:00 AM and get things done before work starts, when my energy level is at its peak. I would set a daily schedule that includes meditation, exercise, and a good breakfast. Chores, like laundry or grocery shopping, would be focused on certain weekday evenings so that I keep the weekend free. It seems like almost all of my weekday evenings, after I get home from work, are squandered. The time is wasted on half-ass attempts or doing nothing useful. I might as well switch my free time to the morning, before work, and start the day off knowing I accomplished some of my goals.
2. Include my goals in my calendar, too, not just my appointments or arrangements with other people. It seems I have somehow allowed my personal goals to fall into third place behind household chores and social obligations. If I really valued my goals and dreams I would at least have them on an equal footing with the other items. I would find a way to make time for my music, writing, and meditation. Life should be in a healthy balance.
This is not to imply that chores and social obligations aren't important either. There should be a way to balance every aspect in my life. The imbalance is leading to too much frustration!
I know I keep saying it over and over, but maybe that's what it takes to get it to sink into my head: I must take responsibility for my life. I must make time for things that are important to me. Change starts with me. I must stop blaming others and external circumstances for my lack of time and feelings of frustration. I create my reality and need to figure out a way to organize my time into a more harmonious flow.
This is not the first time I have had such feelings. It happens several times per year, followed by vows of changing my life, making lists of resolutions for self-improvement or changing my habits or schedule. The latest realization for changing my habits includes two new elements:
1. Wake up at 4:00 AM every day and go to sleep soon after I get home from work and eat a light dinner. It seems that I am most productive and alert first thing in the morning, as opposed to when I get home from work. After work I am getting tired and slowing down. I come home from work and face a bunch of chores, like cooking dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc. Only after I've done my chores do I start to think about doing the things I really enjoy (reading books, writing music, etc.), but of course I am really too tired to do everything, and end up neglecting those things I care most about. The chores get almost done (but not always, especially if I am too tired after work and feel 'entitled' to goofing off, wasting yet more time) but my music composition never really starts. My personal dreams and goals get set aside indefinitely until some 'perfect' day off from chores, or other excuses, shows up (which rarely happens).
Thus, the new idea is to wake up at 4:00 AM and get things done before work starts, when my energy level is at its peak. I would set a daily schedule that includes meditation, exercise, and a good breakfast. Chores, like laundry or grocery shopping, would be focused on certain weekday evenings so that I keep the weekend free. It seems like almost all of my weekday evenings, after I get home from work, are squandered. The time is wasted on half-ass attempts or doing nothing useful. I might as well switch my free time to the morning, before work, and start the day off knowing I accomplished some of my goals.
2. Include my goals in my calendar, too, not just my appointments or arrangements with other people. It seems I have somehow allowed my personal goals to fall into third place behind household chores and social obligations. If I really valued my goals and dreams I would at least have them on an equal footing with the other items. I would find a way to make time for my music, writing, and meditation. Life should be in a healthy balance.
This is not to imply that chores and social obligations aren't important either. There should be a way to balance every aspect in my life. The imbalance is leading to too much frustration!
I know I keep saying it over and over, but maybe that's what it takes to get it to sink into my head: I must take responsibility for my life. I must make time for things that are important to me. Change starts with me. I must stop blaming others and external circumstances for my lack of time and feelings of frustration. I create my reality and need to figure out a way to organize my time into a more harmonious flow.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Responding to Difficult People
One of the first things you realize about this world, perhaps even among your very earliest memories, is that not everyone is going to like you. Or vice versa - there are some people who just get on your nerves or rub you the wrong way. There may not even be a logical reason for it; some people have annoying voices or like to argue about everything or just give off a bad vibe.
Hopefully, as you get older and wiser and gain experience and a wider perspective, it is possible to avoid ruffled feelings (most of the time), whether they are your own or others. When you realize that it is possible to control your responses and reactions to others, as well as your feelings, you can reduce a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Yet, what I have discovered after so many years of pursuing self-improvement and trying to put myself in the shoes of others, is that I still find myself getting angry or upset or irritated with other people. It sure is hard to put positive behaviors into practice ALL of the time! I have found that there must be some basic element of human nature that demands to be right at the expense of others. Or, at a minimum, demands to be right and hopes or expects that everyone else agrees.
Examples:
"I am right and you are wrong!"
"I can't believe so-and-so is so stupid and doesn't see from my perspective."
"I can't believe the masses of people voted for so-and-so!"
"I can't stand it how rude/disgusting that person is behaving on the bus!"
And on and on. I'm sure you can think of many more examples in your own life.
Just think of how many times per day or per week you get irritated by somebody. Do you stop to observe your own reaction and your thoughts? Do you take your time to form your words before you say them and catch yourself before you say something unkind or inappropriate? I challenge you to observe yourself and count how many times during a week you get irritated by others. Step back from yourself and observe your own thoughts and reactions. What is it that sets you off?
After reading things like A Course in Miracles I am well aware of the concept that everything and everyone is One with God. That we should forgive our brothers and sisters because ultimately this world of ours is illusory and if we could only see with true vision that the person pissing us off right now is really the one true Christ Himself (because everything and everyone is really Christ) we wouldn't stay so pissed off for long. But! But! How hard it is to put this into practice! How hard it is to really believe and see with true vision! Forgiveness is really the key that unlocks our heart and takes us to the next step, yet are we willing to take that step? Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into a perverse enjoyment of our hatred or dislike which in turn leads us to forgetting our compassion; suddenly we feel justified in our anger or hatred, and that, in turn, only leads to further attachment to one's feelings and ego and sense of justification.
On the other hand, there is also the viewpoint that one should not repress one's feelings. There are certainly occasions when it is justified to be angry or upset, especially if some injustice is involved. So I'm certainly not advocating repression of feelings or denial. However, it is usually not constructive to allow one's feelings to be swept away and become obsessed with something. There has to be a sensible middle ground. One should be able to observe one's thoughts and reactions and be able to judge an appropriate response. If you can catch yourself quick enough in the irritation phase and cut it down before it gets out of hand, I think that would be a great victory.
Lately I have turned to Catholic saints and prayers to find a positive response to difficult people. I have found that, at a minimum, if I can catch myself when I start to feel anger or severe judgment against others and respond by mentally reciting the Jesus Prayer or a few Hail Marys that it can help diffuse my negative feelings. Whatever you can do to step back from your feelings and observe where they are going can be highly constructive. Repetitive prayers, mantras, or sacred words can help to take your mind off of problems.
Here are two prayers that I have found especially helpful in response to difficult people. The first one comes from Catholic Prayer Book by Father John A. Hardon, S.J.
Hopefully, as you get older and wiser and gain experience and a wider perspective, it is possible to avoid ruffled feelings (most of the time), whether they are your own or others. When you realize that it is possible to control your responses and reactions to others, as well as your feelings, you can reduce a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Yet, what I have discovered after so many years of pursuing self-improvement and trying to put myself in the shoes of others, is that I still find myself getting angry or upset or irritated with other people. It sure is hard to put positive behaviors into practice ALL of the time! I have found that there must be some basic element of human nature that demands to be right at the expense of others. Or, at a minimum, demands to be right and hopes or expects that everyone else agrees.
Examples:
"I am right and you are wrong!"
"I can't believe so-and-so is so stupid and doesn't see from my perspective."
"I can't believe the masses of people voted for so-and-so!"
"I can't stand it how rude/disgusting that person is behaving on the bus!"
And on and on. I'm sure you can think of many more examples in your own life.
Just think of how many times per day or per week you get irritated by somebody. Do you stop to observe your own reaction and your thoughts? Do you take your time to form your words before you say them and catch yourself before you say something unkind or inappropriate? I challenge you to observe yourself and count how many times during a week you get irritated by others. Step back from yourself and observe your own thoughts and reactions. What is it that sets you off?
After reading things like A Course in Miracles I am well aware of the concept that everything and everyone is One with God. That we should forgive our brothers and sisters because ultimately this world of ours is illusory and if we could only see with true vision that the person pissing us off right now is really the one true Christ Himself (because everything and everyone is really Christ) we wouldn't stay so pissed off for long. But! But! How hard it is to put this into practice! How hard it is to really believe and see with true vision! Forgiveness is really the key that unlocks our heart and takes us to the next step, yet are we willing to take that step? Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into a perverse enjoyment of our hatred or dislike which in turn leads us to forgetting our compassion; suddenly we feel justified in our anger or hatred, and that, in turn, only leads to further attachment to one's feelings and ego and sense of justification.
On the other hand, there is also the viewpoint that one should not repress one's feelings. There are certainly occasions when it is justified to be angry or upset, especially if some injustice is involved. So I'm certainly not advocating repression of feelings or denial. However, it is usually not constructive to allow one's feelings to be swept away and become obsessed with something. There has to be a sensible middle ground. One should be able to observe one's thoughts and reactions and be able to judge an appropriate response. If you can catch yourself quick enough in the irritation phase and cut it down before it gets out of hand, I think that would be a great victory.
Lately I have turned to Catholic saints and prayers to find a positive response to difficult people. I have found that, at a minimum, if I can catch myself when I start to feel anger or severe judgment against others and respond by mentally reciting the Jesus Prayer or a few Hail Marys that it can help diffuse my negative feelings. Whatever you can do to step back from your feelings and observe where they are going can be highly constructive. Repetitive prayers, mantras, or sacred words can help to take your mind off of problems.
Here are two prayers that I have found especially helpful in response to difficult people. The first one comes from Catholic Prayer Book by Father John A. Hardon, S.J.
Teach me, my Lord, to be kind and gentle in all the events of life; in disappointments, in the thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied.The next prayer is by Saint Maria Faustina, one of my favorite saints:
Let me put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.
Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes across my path.
Let me so use it that it may mellow me, not harden or embitter me; that it may make me patient, not irritable; that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, not narrow, proud and overbearing.
May no one be less good for having come within my influence. No one less pure, less true, less kind, less noble for having been a fellow traveler in our journey toward eternal life.
As I go my rounds from one task to another, let me say, from time to time, a word of love to You.
May my life be lived in the supernatural, full of power for good, and strong in its purpose of sanctity. Amen.
Prayer to be MercifulTo forgive and forget - So easy to say but hard to do.
Help me Jesus, that what I ask of You (Mercy) I will give to others in word and deed.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge others, but always look for what is beautiful and good in other people. Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to others needs, and not be indifferent to their pain.
Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak wrongly of others, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds so that I may do only good to others and always try to take upon myself the more difficult tasks.
Help me, O Lord, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist others, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness, contemplating Your love and mercy.
Help me, O Lord, to forgive and forget. This is Your greatest gift to me, and should be mine for Your sake, to all who offend me.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Symbolism in "The Fall"
The following list is a brief survey of the symbolic images in the myth of "The Fall," largely drawn from Inner Christianity by Richard Smoley, plus some of my own thoughts:
Adam: Not necessarily a literal ancestor of humanity. He represents "a prototype or collectivity - one enormous being in whom each individual man and woman is but a single cell." As in A Course in Miracles, Adam is like a part of God that has forgotten his true identity, fragmenting into many pieces. Every single thing in the universe, whether living or not, is some piece of that original "Adam." As it says in Corinthians 12:27, "You are Christ's body, and individually parts of it." And in Romans 12:4, "For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another." Adam represents our "fall" into a world of materiality, separation, and ego. Christ represents our spiritual evolution, our potential for what we can become, and our return to Oneness with the Father. Christ "redeems" the fallen nature of Adam, restoring the fragmentation and separation to a state of wholeness. In a sense we are both Adam and Christ. Adam represents our fallen, earthly nature, and Christ the divinization of our humanity.
The Tree of Life: A tree is a powerful visual representation of unity. "It has a single trunk yet ramifies outward in countless branches and twigs and leaves: it is the living representation of the world, which for all its multiplicity has its one life in God." For Adam and Eve before the fall, eating from the Tree of Life gave them their experience of oneness with God and a perception of static timelessness. Without duality there was no death, decay, loneliness or separation. Yet there was also no experience of different emotions, whether happiness or sadness.
The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil: As opposed to the Tree of Life, eating of this tree's fruit "means being aware of the multiplicity while remaining oblivious to the one source from which it all arises." [...] "It represents a sense of separation and polarity: we know good only by comparing it to evil." In a way, eating of this "forbidden" fruit allowed Adam and Eve a full experience of being-ness and self-awareness, which they could not experience in the static Garden of Eden. By experiencing a world of duality it gave them the opportunity to acquire wisdom, grow and evolve. Their perception switched from unity consciousness to an ego-centered identity. It was as if the focus was no longer awareness of being one with the complete "tree of life" but more of an identity as a single, separate branch of that tree. To see only the fruit rather than comprehending the reality of the whole tree.
Loincloths of Fig Leaves: Once they had eaten fruit from the forbidden tree, Adam and Eve became conscious of their nakedness and separateness. To hide themselves they made loincloths of fig leaves. The use of plants symbolizes "that there is a part of human nature that has much in common with plants: we are born, grow, reproduce, and die. A verse in Isaiah alludes to this fact: 'All flesh is grass, and all the goodness thereof is as the flower of the field' (Isaiah 40:6)." Perhaps there is also a connection with the idea that God created man from clay, and says later on in Genesis, "For you are dirt, and to dirt you shall return" (Genesis 3:19). Taken a step further, the garden and vegetation metaphors could imply that man and woman are themselves like gardens. An individual may start out in life as raw "clay" but if one cultivates oneself, as in a fine garden, one can bear good fruit. "For a tree is known by its fruit" (Matthew 12:33).
Leather Garments: Once God expelled Adam and Eve from the garden, he made them leather garments to wear. The change from an original state of nakedness (innocence, purity, egolessness and lack of self-awareness), to the loincloths of fig leaves (affinity to the plant world), and finally to animal skins, represents, in another way, the descent into materiality. The wearing of animal skins indicates that humans "also have an animal nature: the aspect of ourselves that is concerned with dominance, status, and power." [...] "Thus the tradition is suggesting that the two 'coverings' imposed upon the consciousness of the true 'I' as it fell are the vegetable and animal levels of our own minds." Like animals, our minds and behavior include an element that is reactionary rather than rational. To behave "like an animal" implies a tendency to act on instinct, an aspect of earthly behavior, of the "passions," as opposed to a higher level of consciousness that desires to rise upwards towards a unity consciousness with God.
The Serpent & Time: Traditionally, the serpent has been equated with the Devil. Yet from an esoteric standpoint, the serpent has much greater symbolism. Even before Christianity, the serpent has been associated with the ouroboros, "which means 'tail-eater' and which depicts a circular snake swallowing its own tail." As a symbol of time, it refers to the idea "t
hat time - or at any rate our experience of time - is a self-perpetuating ring that traps us in the realm of the Fall." Sometimes you may have experienced occasions when you've lost track of time; being absorbed in some activity or getting lost in daydreaming, ("Time flies when you're having fun"), etc. Such seemingly rare occasions of timelessness are examples of stepping out of the bounds of the ouroboros, out of the duality and dimension of time, into an experience of the present moment. In Genesis, God gives a rather long tirade against the serpent, cursing it and saying, "On your belly shall you crawl, and dirt shall you eat all the days of your life" (Genesis 3:14). According to Smoley, "This suggests that, in the fallen state, the circular serpent known as time has a horizontal dimension - and this is exactly how we experience it, as a linear sequence of moments. We do not usually think of time as the ouroboros, a self-perpetuating cycle out of which we can step if we know how."
Finally, there is a reference in Genesis to humanity's capability of stepping out of the perpetual cycle of time (as in those occasions when one loses track of time). God tells the serpent, "I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel." There is obviously more to these words than the mere surface literal interpretation. Smoley suggests that to "strike at your head" (the head of the serpent) means "to step outside time," as in those brief moments when we truly experience the present moment. And "while you strike at his heel" refers to the serpent's (time's) power to pull humanity back into the horizontal, linear dimension of time, back to our "fallen" condition.
In a future post I will explore some of the symbolism of Christ.
Adam: Not necessarily a literal ancestor of humanity. He represents "a prototype or collectivity - one enormous being in whom each individual man and woman is but a single cell." As in A Course in Miracles, Adam is like a part of God that has forgotten his true identity, fragmenting into many pieces. Every single thing in the universe, whether living or not, is some piece of that original "Adam." As it says in Corinthians 12:27, "You are Christ's body, and individually parts of it." And in Romans 12:4, "For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another." Adam represents our "fall" into a world of materiality, separation, and ego. Christ represents our spiritual evolution, our potential for what we can become, and our return to Oneness with the Father. Christ "redeems" the fallen nature of Adam, restoring the fragmentation and separation to a state of wholeness. In a sense we are both Adam and Christ. Adam represents our fallen, earthly nature, and Christ the divinization of our humanity.
The Tree of Life: A tree is a powerful visual representation of unity. "It has a single trunk yet ramifies outward in countless branches and twigs and leaves: it is the living representation of the world, which for all its multiplicity has its one life in God." For Adam and Eve before the fall, eating from the Tree of Life gave them their experience of oneness with God and a perception of static timelessness. Without duality there was no death, decay, loneliness or separation. Yet there was also no experience of different emotions, whether happiness or sadness.
The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil: As opposed to the Tree of Life, eating of this tree's fruit "means being aware of the multiplicity while remaining oblivious to the one source from which it all arises." [...] "It represents a sense of separation and polarity: we know good only by comparing it to evil." In a way, eating of this "forbidden" fruit allowed Adam and Eve a full experience of being-ness and self-awareness, which they could not experience in the static Garden of Eden. By experiencing a world of duality it gave them the opportunity to acquire wisdom, grow and evolve. Their perception switched from unity consciousness to an ego-centered identity. It was as if the focus was no longer awareness of being one with the complete "tree of life" but more of an identity as a single, separate branch of that tree. To see only the fruit rather than comprehending the reality of the whole tree.
Loincloths of Fig Leaves: Once they had eaten fruit from the forbidden tree, Adam and Eve became conscious of their nakedness and separateness. To hide themselves they made loincloths of fig leaves. The use of plants symbolizes "that there is a part of human nature that has much in common with plants: we are born, grow, reproduce, and die. A verse in Isaiah alludes to this fact: 'All flesh is grass, and all the goodness thereof is as the flower of the field' (Isaiah 40:6)." Perhaps there is also a connection with the idea that God created man from clay, and says later on in Genesis, "For you are dirt, and to dirt you shall return" (Genesis 3:19). Taken a step further, the garden and vegetation metaphors could imply that man and woman are themselves like gardens. An individual may start out in life as raw "clay" but if one cultivates oneself, as in a fine garden, one can bear good fruit. "For a tree is known by its fruit" (Matthew 12:33).
Leather Garments: Once God expelled Adam and Eve from the garden, he made them leather garments to wear. The change from an original state of nakedness (innocence, purity, egolessness and lack of self-awareness), to the loincloths of fig leaves (affinity to the plant world), and finally to animal skins, represents, in another way, the descent into materiality. The wearing of animal skins indicates that humans "also have an animal nature: the aspect of ourselves that is concerned with dominance, status, and power." [...] "Thus the tradition is suggesting that the two 'coverings' imposed upon the consciousness of the true 'I' as it fell are the vegetable and animal levels of our own minds." Like animals, our minds and behavior include an element that is reactionary rather than rational. To behave "like an animal" implies a tendency to act on instinct, an aspect of earthly behavior, of the "passions," as opposed to a higher level of consciousness that desires to rise upwards towards a unity consciousness with God.
The Serpent & Time: Traditionally, the serpent has been equated with the Devil. Yet from an esoteric standpoint, the serpent has much greater symbolism. Even before Christianity, the serpent has been associated with the ouroboros, "which means 'tail-eater' and which depicts a circular snake swallowing its own tail." As a symbol of time, it refers to the idea "t
hat time - or at any rate our experience of time - is a self-perpetuating ring that traps us in the realm of the Fall." Sometimes you may have experienced occasions when you've lost track of time; being absorbed in some activity or getting lost in daydreaming, ("Time flies when you're having fun"), etc. Such seemingly rare occasions of timelessness are examples of stepping out of the bounds of the ouroboros, out of the duality and dimension of time, into an experience of the present moment. In Genesis, God gives a rather long tirade against the serpent, cursing it and saying, "On your belly shall you crawl, and dirt shall you eat all the days of your life" (Genesis 3:14). According to Smoley, "This suggests that, in the fallen state, the circular serpent known as time has a horizontal dimension - and this is exactly how we experience it, as a linear sequence of moments. We do not usually think of time as the ouroboros, a self-perpetuating cycle out of which we can step if we know how."Finally, there is a reference in Genesis to humanity's capability of stepping out of the perpetual cycle of time (as in those occasions when one loses track of time). God tells the serpent, "I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel." There is obviously more to these words than the mere surface literal interpretation. Smoley suggests that to "strike at your head" (the head of the serpent) means "to step outside time," as in those brief moments when we truly experience the present moment. And "while you strike at his heel" refers to the serpent's (time's) power to pull humanity back into the horizontal, linear dimension of time, back to our "fallen" condition.
In a future post I will explore some of the symbolism of Christ.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Reinterpreting Original Sin
Up until a few years ago I did not really understand the story of Adam and Eve and "The Fall." I just assumed that it was supposed to be taken literally since it seemed that most people did. Such a literal interpretation was always a major stumbling block for me, however, especially when I was growing up. I kept wondering how on earth anyone could take Christianity seriously with such a story. I mean, really, our world of suffering was caused when the first humans disobeyed God and ate an fruit? And this transgression deserved the severe punishment of experiencing suffering, pain, loss, loneliness, and death? How much more ridiculous could the story be? I was amazed that Christianity had lasted at all, let alone for 2000 years.
It wasn't until I read books like The New Man, by Maurice Nicoll, and A Course in Miracles, that my eyes were opened to the deeper, esoteric meaning of the Bible. It was another one of those "Ah ha!" moments when something that had been formerly hidden from me was now revealed. The Bible (and no doubt virtually all sacred texts, as well as some literature and poetry) offers multiple layers of meaning, with the literal meaning being only the most basic level.
Here is a significant quote from Search for the Meaning of Life by Willigis Jager, revealing a deeper understanding of "original sin":
Perhaps the notion of guilt and sin came about, as A Course in Miracles suggests, because a part of us feels guilty for being separated from God. Like the Prodigal Son we have left home and have become scared to face the Father. We're not sure how He's going to react. We imagine the worst, which translates into feelings of guilt, loneliness and separation. If we could only realize that these feelings are really a product of our ego, our attachment to the world and to our individual separate identities. As Jager writes, "One day we shall realize that God always was 'walking in the garden' with us, that we never were separated from him. Even if we don't know it now, we will experience it. Paradise lies before us. Hence we Christians call it the 'New Jerusalem.' It is the experience of oneness with God."
In my next post I will go into detail regarding the symbolism of "The Fall" story. I think you will be amazed at the deeper levels of meaning represented by the serpent, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, as well as the nature of time and the five senses.
It wasn't until I read books like The New Man, by Maurice Nicoll, and A Course in Miracles, that my eyes were opened to the deeper, esoteric meaning of the Bible. It was another one of those "Ah ha!" moments when something that had been formerly hidden from me was now revealed. The Bible (and no doubt virtually all sacred texts, as well as some literature and poetry) offers multiple layers of meaning, with the literal meaning being only the most basic level.
Here is a significant quote from Search for the Meaning of Life by Willigis Jager, revealing a deeper understanding of "original sin":
All religions know about the imperfect condition of humanity. Many speak of a "fall," of "original sin." But original sin is not a fall from a higher state of consciousness into a more imperfect state. Rather, it is the emergence from a "prepersonal heaven," an awakening from the dullness of the preconscious into an ego-experience, a shift out of the state of instinct into the knowledge of good and evil, as the Scripture says. This was a great step forward in evolution, but it also brought with it the whole burden that is bound up with this ego-experience, namely, the experience of sickness, suffering, guilt, loneliness, and death.I think this starts to put "The Fall" story in a whole new light. Instead of seeing ourselves as "guilty sinners" being punished by an angry father-figure type God, we can come to realize that we (humanity and ultimately every living on non-living thing in the universe - since all is ultimately one with God) have chosen to be in this world, on purpose, in order to experience "the knowledge of good and evil." We have chosen to experience duality and all of the good and bad that goes with it. We are here to find and experience wisdom and knowledge. We didn't want to stay stuck in the stasis of the Garden of Eden, where time did not exist and where we 'lived' in oneness with God. So we are here in the world to experience a journey and learn something from it. Like the Prodigal Son or the son of the king in the Gnostic Hymn of the Pearl, we have left the comfort and safety of our home (i.e. our oneness with God) in order to go on a journey of growth and evolution. We are divine beings clothed in bodies in a world buffeted by time and the processes that spring from duality: birth/death, male/female, good/evil, etc. Thus there is nothing to feel guilty for. We are here for a purpose, which, I believe, must ultimately return us to our source, God; yet we will have learned something along our journey (hopefully) that will make the return to God, as in the story of the Prodigal Son, all the more sweeter and beautiful.
Thus the so-called "fall" did not bring mortality, but the knowledge of mortality and the mutability of all things. Previously, humans had been living the life of flowers and animals. Hence the real sin is not eating from the tree of knowledge - that is only an image - but that in the process of becoming an ego the person gets separated from God. "They were naked," Scripture tells us. That has nothing to do with clothes; it implies that they were thrown out into the loneliness of the ego. The expulsion from paradise is stepping out into the personal condition without this experience of oneness with God. Original sin is not guilt in the real sense of the word, as we have long realized. It is a fact resulting from the development of consciousness.
Perhaps the notion of guilt and sin came about, as A Course in Miracles suggests, because a part of us feels guilty for being separated from God. Like the Prodigal Son we have left home and have become scared to face the Father. We're not sure how He's going to react. We imagine the worst, which translates into feelings of guilt, loneliness and separation. If we could only realize that these feelings are really a product of our ego, our attachment to the world and to our individual separate identities. As Jager writes, "One day we shall realize that God always was 'walking in the garden' with us, that we never were separated from him. Even if we don't know it now, we will experience it. Paradise lies before us. Hence we Christians call it the 'New Jerusalem.' It is the experience of oneness with God."
In my next post I will go into detail regarding the symbolism of "The Fall" story. I think you will be amazed at the deeper levels of meaning represented by the serpent, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, as well as the nature of time and the five senses.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Music in Progress
Well, I said I would come up with at least 25 measures of music by the evening of November 25th. Technically I succeeded and wrote my music on time; but after several hours of computer problems and struggling to integrate three different music software programs, it is now a couple of hours after midnight!
Here is what I have so far. It's just a simple theme on solo violin. The file is in MP3 format.
I don't have a title yet. The piece will be for violin, viola, oboe, and glockenspiel.
Stay tuned for further developments. Now that I've got my music software sorted out and optimized, it shouldn't take me so many hours just to record 29 measures!
Here is what I have so far. It's just a simple theme on solo violin. The file is in MP3 format.
I don't have a title yet. The piece will be for violin, viola, oboe, and glockenspiel.
Stay tuned for further developments. Now that I've got my music software sorted out and optimized, it shouldn't take me so many hours just to record 29 measures!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tavener Quote # 2
Another great quote from The Music of Silence - A Composer's Testament:
I vow to write at least 25 measures of music between now and the end of the day on Sunday, November 25. Perhaps through a public commitment to my music I can force myself to look in the mirror and overcome my writer's block! Look for a sound clip when I have my 25 measures.
I regard metaphysics as a fountainhead through which all music must flow, and I think the key word is 'flow.' As St Irenaeus of Lyons said, 'God will always have something more to teach man, and man will always have something more to learn from God.' I return to the key word, flow. It's not a cerebral process - it's a question of having the humility to leave oneself vulnerable and allow the Spirit to flow through one. If you go back to the great masters, the saints and certain poets like St Simeon the New Theologian, he always received his poetry as pure vision.I am struggling to figure out how to do this in practice. Maybe "struggling" is my problem. Inspiration must come from God, from opening one's intuition and turning off the internal censor that keeps nagging "It's not good enough!" in the background.
I vow to write at least 25 measures of music between now and the end of the day on Sunday, November 25. Perhaps through a public commitment to my music I can force myself to look in the mirror and overcome my writer's block! Look for a sound clip when I have my 25 measures.
Monday, November 12, 2007
My Autobiography of Self-Transformation
In the past year or so, I have heard of something called "The Law of Attraction." I believe it is from a movie called The Secret. I haven't seen the movie or read the book, so I can't really comment in detail on the law, but from what I have heard it basically means that if you focus on the things you want in your life, you will start to attract those things towards you.
The basic concept behind the law sounds too simple on the face of it. Yet, in general, the law sounds like the tiny seed that sprouted into the blossoming lifestyle I have found myself in today. I would call it basically a type of "getting your sh-t together" mentality. Of course it all starts with knowing what you want and focusing your attention; but there is a heck of a lot of work involved first and all along the way, both inside one's heart/mind/spirit, and outside in the world where one lives, one's lifestyle. It is too easy to say you can just focus on something and everything you want will magically appear out of thin air. Work! Work! There must be several ongoing layers of action before manifestation.
Here is a simple outline of my own path towards inner and outer transformation.
When I think back on who I was in the year 2000, the year I got married, I can almost not recognize myself at all. I carried so much baggage with me: years of depression, low self-esteem, dysfunctional ways of thinking and behaving, etc. I saw the world not as my oyster but as a torture chamber, set up on purpose to make me miserable. My very outlook on life itself was the biggest obstacle keeping me from living my life.
The first step that helped me move forward was to keep a journal. Since the late 1990s I started writing almost every day to record my thoughts and experiences. Through this process of inner examination, slowly learning about myself, how I was thinking, analyzing how I was interacting with others, watching myself make the same mistakes over and over until I could finally stop and catch myself, it ultimately dawned on me that through this process of writing and self-analysis I had an enormous power. Almost by accident I must have learned to harness the journal as a mighty rope to drag myself out of myself, into a new world.
In the second step, going to therapy (with an awesome middle-aged Buddhist woman), I acquired an outside objective opinion to reveal to me the deeper functioning of my thoughts and behaviors. This worked very well in conjunction with the journal writing. I was able to examine past traumas in my life, see how they were still influencing my thoughts and behaviors, and then take conscious charge to change those thoughts and behaviors to create new outcomes. By this point, late 2002(?), I had really succeeded in pulling myself out of the decades of depression and negativity that had almost swallowed me up. I was still not perfect, but I was well on the way to becoming a well-adjusted, functioning adult (around age 27!).
The third step was finding A Course in Miracles around the middle of 2003. Coming from a cynical-atheist/scientific-materialism background as a child, I still constantly hungered for spirituality and for some path that would give me deeper answers or a meaning to my life and existence. From 2000 onwards I was already slowly opening myself to the spiritual realm. I was realizing that the cynical-atheist attitude of the past 25 years was really not getting me anywhere fun in life, so I threw a question out to the universe: "What else? Show me some alternative ways of seeing!" The Course finally unlocked a door for me that my previous forays into Taoism, Buddhism, and other philosophies/spiritualities just hadn't quite achieved up to that point. I still dearly love Eastern philosophy and religion, but it was the Course that gave me that cosmic "Ah ha!" moment. It finally gave me an explanation for the world, an explanation for the existence of evil, and a great overall comprehensive picture of my own place within everything; A Course in Miracles really truly "clicked" (and does so to this day).
Meanwhile, my husband and I gradually found ourselves gravitating towards a simpler outward lifestyle. We realized we didn't really need a lot of material things to keep us happy. We were content to have a smallish (700 to 800 square foot) place to live in, one car, a bunch of books, the Internet, our friends, and our little hobbies. And then somehow, one by one, certain once formerly-critical things fell out of our life: the television broke and we decided not to replace it (what did we need that distraction and noise for?). The car got totaled when we hit a deer (we live in a city with great public transit and we were already in a position to walk a few blocks to work, school, the grocery, etc.). One by one, the TV and the car disappeared, and were exchanged by realizing, even more profoundly than before, the value of time and silence, which in turn led to further self-examination and self-improvement. (And we still get by just great today without the TV or the car!)
The fourth concrete step, again with all these things rather falling together simultaneously over a course of years, was the discovery of the book Your Money or Your Life, written by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin (thanks to our friend, Dave, for giving us that book!). In the middle of our gradual lifestyle simplification we discovered that we had the capability to save up our resources and eventually quit our "day jobs" if we wanted to. And not just quit our day jobs early, as in, say, by the time we got to age 50, but rather (for me) age 37! The key principle rested in realizing that money represented our "life energy." We worked 40 hours a week to trade our life energy (time) to make a resource (money). This is not just realizing the importance of money; this is not just some get-rich-quick-scheme or "save $10 a week for x number of years and you'll be fine." It is a fundamental realization of how everything is interconnected in one's life and bringing it all together in alignment; of realizing when you have reached a stabilized definition of "enough" based on your criteria for happiness. Suddenly our lifestyle was coming into alignment with our values. The inner self-transformation led to an outer simplification and focusing on what truly mattered to us most (time). We didn't need a car, lots of things, or a big house, which also meant we didn't need a million dollars to be able to reach an early retirement. By the year 2012, if all goes according to plan, we won't need to worry about the day-to-day necessity of having a day job to pay the bills. This amazing coming together of our inner and outer development, of valuing the interconnection and wise usage of time, money, and life energy, would also allow us to bring all of our other goals to fruition.
The fifth step on my self-transformation road, around May 2006, was the purchase and daily practice of Holosync in building my own meditation and spiritual practice. This has really cleared up some more mental cobwebs and given me real inner energy to accelerate the pursuit of my goals (plus it also helped give me a new inner strength to deal with the various health problems I encountered in 2007). I must really also credit Holosync with opening my spirit to God. To showing me, within myself, that there are new worlds to explore and that God is shining in there somewhere and has been all the time. It is still yet only a glimmer but I see the crack widening each day. With the step into Catholicism I am looking forward to deepening my spiritual path further. I can hardly imagine where I might be ten years from now, as at the moment I am still in my spiritual infancy.
The last step, which my husband and I are still in the process of perfecting and refining together, is the cultivation of true discipline. We're well on our way there in certain segments of our life. We've had our goals for a long time, kept them in the forefront, set a concrete time frame for early retirement, etc. but it's not yet 100% in motion. Not all wheels are spinning together yet. There are still aspects of ourselves that fall through the cracks and get neglected (especially, as of late, my own health). I am now working towards a more holistic, integrated vision of a lifestyle of discipline, that includes making the most of each and every day on multiple levels (spirit, mind, body, life's work). Ultimately we hope to enter retirement in the year 2012 (and I mean retirement from the "day job," not retirement from Life) ready to open another new chapter in our lives, living each moment to the fullest, not squandering a second, and awakening to our numinous joy.
The basic concept behind the law sounds too simple on the face of it. Yet, in general, the law sounds like the tiny seed that sprouted into the blossoming lifestyle I have found myself in today. I would call it basically a type of "getting your sh-t together" mentality. Of course it all starts with knowing what you want and focusing your attention; but there is a heck of a lot of work involved first and all along the way, both inside one's heart/mind/spirit, and outside in the world where one lives, one's lifestyle. It is too easy to say you can just focus on something and everything you want will magically appear out of thin air. Work! Work! There must be several ongoing layers of action before manifestation.
Here is a simple outline of my own path towards inner and outer transformation.
When I think back on who I was in the year 2000, the year I got married, I can almost not recognize myself at all. I carried so much baggage with me: years of depression, low self-esteem, dysfunctional ways of thinking and behaving, etc. I saw the world not as my oyster but as a torture chamber, set up on purpose to make me miserable. My very outlook on life itself was the biggest obstacle keeping me from living my life.
The first step that helped me move forward was to keep a journal. Since the late 1990s I started writing almost every day to record my thoughts and experiences. Through this process of inner examination, slowly learning about myself, how I was thinking, analyzing how I was interacting with others, watching myself make the same mistakes over and over until I could finally stop and catch myself, it ultimately dawned on me that through this process of writing and self-analysis I had an enormous power. Almost by accident I must have learned to harness the journal as a mighty rope to drag myself out of myself, into a new world.
In the second step, going to therapy (with an awesome middle-aged Buddhist woman), I acquired an outside objective opinion to reveal to me the deeper functioning of my thoughts and behaviors. This worked very well in conjunction with the journal writing. I was able to examine past traumas in my life, see how they were still influencing my thoughts and behaviors, and then take conscious charge to change those thoughts and behaviors to create new outcomes. By this point, late 2002(?), I had really succeeded in pulling myself out of the decades of depression and negativity that had almost swallowed me up. I was still not perfect, but I was well on the way to becoming a well-adjusted, functioning adult (around age 27!).
The third step was finding A Course in Miracles around the middle of 2003. Coming from a cynical-atheist/scientific-materialism background as a child, I still constantly hungered for spirituality and for some path that would give me deeper answers or a meaning to my life and existence. From 2000 onwards I was already slowly opening myself to the spiritual realm. I was realizing that the cynical-atheist attitude of the past 25 years was really not getting me anywhere fun in life, so I threw a question out to the universe: "What else? Show me some alternative ways of seeing!" The Course finally unlocked a door for me that my previous forays into Taoism, Buddhism, and other philosophies/spiritualities just hadn't quite achieved up to that point. I still dearly love Eastern philosophy and religion, but it was the Course that gave me that cosmic "Ah ha!" moment. It finally gave me an explanation for the world, an explanation for the existence of evil, and a great overall comprehensive picture of my own place within everything; A Course in Miracles really truly "clicked" (and does so to this day).
Meanwhile, my husband and I gradually found ourselves gravitating towards a simpler outward lifestyle. We realized we didn't really need a lot of material things to keep us happy. We were content to have a smallish (700 to 800 square foot) place to live in, one car, a bunch of books, the Internet, our friends, and our little hobbies. And then somehow, one by one, certain once formerly-critical things fell out of our life: the television broke and we decided not to replace it (what did we need that distraction and noise for?). The car got totaled when we hit a deer (we live in a city with great public transit and we were already in a position to walk a few blocks to work, school, the grocery, etc.). One by one, the TV and the car disappeared, and were exchanged by realizing, even more profoundly than before, the value of time and silence, which in turn led to further self-examination and self-improvement. (And we still get by just great today without the TV or the car!)
The fourth concrete step, again with all these things rather falling together simultaneously over a course of years, was the discovery of the book Your Money or Your Life, written by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin (thanks to our friend, Dave, for giving us that book!). In the middle of our gradual lifestyle simplification we discovered that we had the capability to save up our resources and eventually quit our "day jobs" if we wanted to. And not just quit our day jobs early, as in, say, by the time we got to age 50, but rather (for me) age 37! The key principle rested in realizing that money represented our "life energy." We worked 40 hours a week to trade our life energy (time) to make a resource (money). This is not just realizing the importance of money; this is not just some get-rich-quick-scheme or "save $10 a week for x number of years and you'll be fine." It is a fundamental realization of how everything is interconnected in one's life and bringing it all together in alignment; of realizing when you have reached a stabilized definition of "enough" based on your criteria for happiness. Suddenly our lifestyle was coming into alignment with our values. The inner self-transformation led to an outer simplification and focusing on what truly mattered to us most (time). We didn't need a car, lots of things, or a big house, which also meant we didn't need a million dollars to be able to reach an early retirement. By the year 2012, if all goes according to plan, we won't need to worry about the day-to-day necessity of having a day job to pay the bills. This amazing coming together of our inner and outer development, of valuing the interconnection and wise usage of time, money, and life energy, would also allow us to bring all of our other goals to fruition.
The fifth step on my self-transformation road, around May 2006, was the purchase and daily practice of Holosync in building my own meditation and spiritual practice. This has really cleared up some more mental cobwebs and given me real inner energy to accelerate the pursuit of my goals (plus it also helped give me a new inner strength to deal with the various health problems I encountered in 2007). I must really also credit Holosync with opening my spirit to God. To showing me, within myself, that there are new worlds to explore and that God is shining in there somewhere and has been all the time. It is still yet only a glimmer but I see the crack widening each day. With the step into Catholicism I am looking forward to deepening my spiritual path further. I can hardly imagine where I might be ten years from now, as at the moment I am still in my spiritual infancy.
The last step, which my husband and I are still in the process of perfecting and refining together, is the cultivation of true discipline. We're well on our way there in certain segments of our life. We've had our goals for a long time, kept them in the forefront, set a concrete time frame for early retirement, etc. but it's not yet 100% in motion. Not all wheels are spinning together yet. There are still aspects of ourselves that fall through the cracks and get neglected (especially, as of late, my own health). I am now working towards a more holistic, integrated vision of a lifestyle of discipline, that includes making the most of each and every day on multiple levels (spirit, mind, body, life's work). Ultimately we hope to enter retirement in the year 2012 (and I mean retirement from the "day job," not retirement from Life) ready to open another new chapter in our lives, living each moment to the fullest, not squandering a second, and awakening to our numinous joy.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Wrapping my brain around "Religion"
Some more nice quotes from Willigis Jäger from Search for the Meaning of Life:
First I should clarify that by the word "Religion" I am referring to that large descriptive box attached to one of the mainline religions, whether it be Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, etc.
I have come to view religion more and more as something that must be viewed from multiple dimensions. It is too simplistic to describe Christianity as merely a literal interpretation of the Bible, or that scientific materialism pulls the covers off all religions and reveals them all to be warm, fuzzy fairytale hoaxes to help us sleep at night. There is more to religion than showing up at church every Sunday or telling other people what not to do in their bedroom.
I am seeing religion now as something that encompasses many layers, or boundaries. And as one progresses further along on their spiritual path, the layers keep expanding further and further outward. You could start at the most basic level of religion, of primitive understanding about life; identifying your bedrock place in the world and its meaning. For me, the basic level would be someone solely wrapped up in the external layer (exoteric), with concern about morality and society; of following the "dogmas" of one's faith, the external rituals that bind community. Exoteric is where everyone loves to argue about "the rules" and who is or is not following them. Then the next step would be internal (esoteric), exploring one's inner world through contemplation; observing the actions of one's mind in operation; trying to dissolve that barrier between the ego-self that says "I am" and the inner conflicting God-nature that also wants to say "I AM." Then as you keep stepping beyond, one must realize there are still more horizontal and vertical dimensions, stretching to that ineffable Ultimate Reality.
It is as I have heard or read elsewhere: religion is like a vehicle. You need both the cart and the horse to be able to get somewhere. The cart contains the dogmas of external religion, the centuries of collected knowledge, wisdom, and rules; but we also need the horse, the engine, the fuel that springs from the inner work of contemplation based on the deep spring of esoteric wisdom underlying all faiths, to propel the cart forward. You must have both knowledge/rules and practice/action. They cannot go anywhere without the other. And then ultimately what you end up with is the final, genuine lived experience; that living, breathing awareness of God-reality, the "Gnosis" of self-realization, must be the end result.
Other random thoughts:
Some other influences on my thoughts this weekend:
Father Keating on Ken Wilber's Holons site:
http://www.holons-news.com/node/71
Bill Harris' Blog from Centerpointe/Holosync:
https://www.centerpointe.com/blog/
Barriers and limitations are created solely by the fact that humans want to pin down the ineffable with concepts. Such religious modes of expression are conditioned by time and hence transitory. But experience is timeless and transcends all differences in dogma. It is the common ground on which the individual religions build.
All religions agree that Ultimate Reality is ineffable, that it can only be experienced. Everything that humans say about it is already a distortion.
On the level of experience, all religions are one. But individual persons who want to speak about their experience have to be content with the forms of expression available to them from their cultural background. And thus the variety of the esoteric paths reflects the variety of cultures, but in their essence they are all one.
Lately I have come across various sources trying to peg down what humanity means by "Religion." It is such a huge concept. A giant overwrought package of baggage. And there are way too many voices arguing over what is "right" and "wrong." I have been trying to wrap my brain around it as well, and reconcile how I found myself on this road to Catholicism.
First I should clarify that by the word "Religion" I am referring to that large descriptive box attached to one of the mainline religions, whether it be Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, etc.
I have come to view religion more and more as something that must be viewed from multiple dimensions. It is too simplistic to describe Christianity as merely a literal interpretation of the Bible, or that scientific materialism pulls the covers off all religions and reveals them all to be warm, fuzzy fairytale hoaxes to help us sleep at night. There is more to religion than showing up at church every Sunday or telling other people what not to do in their bedroom.
I am seeing religion now as something that encompasses many layers, or boundaries. And as one progresses further along on their spiritual path, the layers keep expanding further and further outward. You could start at the most basic level of religion, of primitive understanding about life; identifying your bedrock place in the world and its meaning. For me, the basic level would be someone solely wrapped up in the external layer (exoteric), with concern about morality and society; of following the "dogmas" of one's faith, the external rituals that bind community. Exoteric is where everyone loves to argue about "the rules" and who is or is not following them. Then the next step would be internal (esoteric), exploring one's inner world through contemplation; observing the actions of one's mind in operation; trying to dissolve that barrier between the ego-self that says "I am" and the inner conflicting God-nature that also wants to say "I AM." Then as you keep stepping beyond, one must realize there are still more horizontal and vertical dimensions, stretching to that ineffable Ultimate Reality.
It is as I have heard or read elsewhere: religion is like a vehicle. You need both the cart and the horse to be able to get somewhere. The cart contains the dogmas of external religion, the centuries of collected knowledge, wisdom, and rules; but we also need the horse, the engine, the fuel that springs from the inner work of contemplation based on the deep spring of esoteric wisdom underlying all faiths, to propel the cart forward. You must have both knowledge/rules and practice/action. They cannot go anywhere without the other. And then ultimately what you end up with is the final, genuine lived experience; that living, breathing awareness of God-reality, the "Gnosis" of self-realization, must be the end result.
Other random thoughts:
- there is the path of the intellect, the rational mind, Zen, or contemplation
- there is the path of the heart, of devotion, of a blissful union with the divine; of seeing God as a nurturing Mother-figure or lover
Some other influences on my thoughts this weekend:
Father Keating on Ken Wilber's Holons site:
http://www.holons-news.com/node/71
Bill Harris' Blog from Centerpointe/Holosync:
https://www.centerpointe.com/blog/
Friday, November 9, 2007
Brainwave Technology
When I was a teenager my mom had some New Age magazines lying around ("Uh oh!"). Reading them I became tantalized by advertisements for some far-out technologies that could help "Turn you into Zen monk in 30 minutes or less," and other things of that sort. Ever since, I have been fascinated with technologies that offer the potential to elevate one's consciousness to higher levels of awareness, whether the goal was to find God-consciousness or just to feel something like a cool "head trip." Certainly, there is some flaky stuff out there, but I have been willing to try new things and not been too disappointed. The technology, which has been around for decades now, is largely safe for most people (except for those with seizure disorders, pacemakers, or epilepsy; such persons might have problems and should be very careful) and it's certainly safer than ingesting chemicals into the body, like LSD, heroin, pot, alcohol, etc.
The technology I would like to focus on in particular is called "brainwave entrainment." First a brief primer on brainwaves and why you would want to "entrain" them:
Centuries ago, humans discovered that certain conditions could induce hallucinatory states or changes of consciousness in the brain. From shamans "tripping out" in front of the flickering lights of a roaring fire, or winter travelers crossing an all-white field of snow experiencing a mental "blank out," some people have just known or discovered by accident that they could change their conscious awareness. Plus there are also the assortment of herbs, drugs, gases, liquids, natural and man-made, and so on, that can be consumed for similar results.
In our present era, science has studied the human brain and come up with some explanations for why and how such changes of consciousness take place. The brain is composed of a left and right hemisphere, both sides of which include some small, natural amounts of electricity coursing through the entire structure pretty much all the time. When you hear about people who are "brain dead" it usually means that the electrical energy in their brains has ceased to move. Thus, this electricity is very important to our existence and consciousness as fully aware beings. You have electricity moving in your brain right now as you're reading this (I hope).
Depending on what state of consciousness you are in, whether sleeping, dreaming, talking, studying for a test, solving puzzles, etc. your brain is constantly moving back and forth between very calm states of awareness (deep sleep) up to very high levels of functioning (intense mental focus or concentration or highly alert awareness). This is just part of the natural ebb and flow of the brain, day in and day out. Science has been able to measure this brain activity, our naturally-occurring electricity, through high-tech imaging instruments and sensors, measuring brainwaves from the lowest to the highest ranges (i.e. frequency) and come up with the following chart:
http://www.transparentcorp.com/products/np/brainwaves.php
Once you realize the importance of what all this means, the next step is to identify optimal brainwave frequencies that you can pursue depending on the goals that you set for yourself. There is clear scientific evidence (if that's important for you) showing how certain brainwave frequency ranges are better suited for improving one's learning ability. Other brainwave frequencies can help reduce one's feelings of stress or even help calm the symptoms of addictions. Still other brainwave patterns can tap into one's deepest levels of consciousness, the subconscious mind, and dream-like states. There is a wide range of possible uses for the technology. As a therapeutic or self-development tool, it could really revolutionize humanity and treat a huge variety of problems, whether mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. But most interesting to me is the use of such tools for the pursuit of God-consciousness, or the unitive experience of the mystic!
We live in exciting times! The technology I'm referring to is now fairly cheap and easy to get your hands on. Some types of it can even be downloaded for free from the Internet. The technology, generally called "brainwave entrainment" (or look up "binaural-beats" or "mind machines"), basically consists of a method whereby the brain is stimulated to mimic the frequency that you want to move it to. Say, for example, you're wide awake right now but you want to experience deep meditation instead. You need to slow down your brainwaves from your current waking consciousness to a slower meditative state. In order to "talk" to the brain and change the frequency, we need to stimulate it in some way, usually through the senses of hearing and/or eyesight. Thus there are devices called "light and sound machines" which use goggles delivering blinking lights to your closed eyelids and headphones creating beeping sounds in your ears. The frequency of the flashing light and beeping sound, pulsing continuously in a rhythm, actually causes your brain to mimic the frequency you are feeding it. By looking/listening into such devices from about 15 minutes to an hour, you can gradually move your brainwaves in any direction you want to go. You could speed it up or slow it down or keep it on a steady level. This mimicking effect of the brain is called the "frequency-following response." Don't worry: it is safe, trust me. Even when you're listening to your favorite music, for example, your brain is being effected by the speed of the music's rhythmic pulse, whether you were consciously aware of it or not. Your brain is constantly receiving stimulation from outside, thus explaining why some environments make you anxious or others make you feel peaceful. Just think of how much your brain experiences when watching a movie! But through the use of brainwave technology we can actively participate in directing our consciousness in any direction we want to go. We can explore our inner worlds!
Here are a few examples of the technology you can explore, from cheapest to most expensive (in US dollars). Your basic choice is between whether you want a simple, ready-made audio CD to just jump into instant meditation and brainwave exploration; or whether you want to experiment, learn how to make your own entrainment program using computer software, extra devices, teaching yourself over time, and figuring things out on your own.
BrainWave Generator (FREE)
Free download of software for building your own brainwave-entraining audio files. Probably the simplest way to get started. Few "bells and whistles," as the other following pre-packaged CDs might offer.
http://www.bwgen.com/
Center for Neuroacoustic Research ($16 and up)
A more serious, less commercial, avenue for purchasing brainwave entrainment audio CDs. I even found a box set of their CDs at a Half-Price Bookstore once for $5.00! Shop around!
http://neuroacoustic.com/
Immrama Institute ($35 and up)
I've heard good things about their Insight and Focus audio CDs. Just buy a CD and listen. The brainwave entrainment technology is embedded underneath soothing music or sounds.
http://www.immrama.org/
Transparent Corporation ($45 and up)
More advanced type of software that lets you build your own audio and/or visual entrainment experience, just using your computer. Create raw, simple binaural-beat sounds, or combine with background music or other sound effects. Integrate with light and sound machines. Teach yourself the software and the sky is the limit. It can also instantly generate entrainment programs for you, based on criteria you've given the software. I have Neuro-Programmer 2 and highly recommend it. Easy to use. Excellent help info and instructions included. Unlimited potential. Download their demo and try it. Their web site is also very informative!
http://www.transparentcorp.com/
Mind Machines ($90 and up)
Devices that provide both light and sound stimulation, or more. Some can be used in conjunction with the audio CDs and computer software listed above, to create your own sessions.
http://www.mindmachines.com/
http://www.mindmachine.com/
Holosync by Centerpointe (about $190 for first level (4-6 months); many more levels beyond)
I've had the most profound, illuminating experiences and growth with their CDs. At least order the free demo and try it out. They have a lot of slick advertising, which can be off-putting for some, but I know from experience that their technology really works. The brainwave entrainment technology is hidden behind "nature" sounds like rain, birds, and bells. Their system also provides clear guidance, support, and a path to follow. I am looking forward to about 20 years with their program and I know I will savor every second.
http://www.centerpointe.com/
Explore. Stay tuned. I will tell you about my experiences in future installments.
The technology I would like to focus on in particular is called "brainwave entrainment." First a brief primer on brainwaves and why you would want to "entrain" them:
Centuries ago, humans discovered that certain conditions could induce hallucinatory states or changes of consciousness in the brain. From shamans "tripping out" in front of the flickering lights of a roaring fire, or winter travelers crossing an all-white field of snow experiencing a mental "blank out," some people have just known or discovered by accident that they could change their conscious awareness. Plus there are also the assortment of herbs, drugs, gases, liquids, natural and man-made, and so on, that can be consumed for similar results.
In our present era, science has studied the human brain and come up with some explanations for why and how such changes of consciousness take place. The brain is composed of a left and right hemisphere, both sides of which include some small, natural amounts of electricity coursing through the entire structure pretty much all the time. When you hear about people who are "brain dead" it usually means that the electrical energy in their brains has ceased to move. Thus, this electricity is very important to our existence and consciousness as fully aware beings. You have electricity moving in your brain right now as you're reading this (I hope).
Depending on what state of consciousness you are in, whether sleeping, dreaming, talking, studying for a test, solving puzzles, etc. your brain is constantly moving back and forth between very calm states of awareness (deep sleep) up to very high levels of functioning (intense mental focus or concentration or highly alert awareness). This is just part of the natural ebb and flow of the brain, day in and day out. Science has been able to measure this brain activity, our naturally-occurring electricity, through high-tech imaging instruments and sensors, measuring brainwaves from the lowest to the highest ranges (i.e. frequency) and come up with the following chart:
http://www.transparentcorp.com/products/np/brainwaves.php
Once you realize the importance of what all this means, the next step is to identify optimal brainwave frequencies that you can pursue depending on the goals that you set for yourself. There is clear scientific evidence (if that's important for you) showing how certain brainwave frequency ranges are better suited for improving one's learning ability. Other brainwave frequencies can help reduce one's feelings of stress or even help calm the symptoms of addictions. Still other brainwave patterns can tap into one's deepest levels of consciousness, the subconscious mind, and dream-like states. There is a wide range of possible uses for the technology. As a therapeutic or self-development tool, it could really revolutionize humanity and treat a huge variety of problems, whether mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. But most interesting to me is the use of such tools for the pursuit of God-consciousness, or the unitive experience of the mystic!
We live in exciting times! The technology I'm referring to is now fairly cheap and easy to get your hands on. Some types of it can even be downloaded for free from the Internet. The technology, generally called "brainwave entrainment" (or look up "binaural-beats" or "mind machines"), basically consists of a method whereby the brain is stimulated to mimic the frequency that you want to move it to. Say, for example, you're wide awake right now but you want to experience deep meditation instead. You need to slow down your brainwaves from your current waking consciousness to a slower meditative state. In order to "talk" to the brain and change the frequency, we need to stimulate it in some way, usually through the senses of hearing and/or eyesight. Thus there are devices called "light and sound machines" which use goggles delivering blinking lights to your closed eyelids and headphones creating beeping sounds in your ears. The frequency of the flashing light and beeping sound, pulsing continuously in a rhythm, actually causes your brain to mimic the frequency you are feeding it. By looking/listening into such devices from about 15 minutes to an hour, you can gradually move your brainwaves in any direction you want to go. You could speed it up or slow it down or keep it on a steady level. This mimicking effect of the brain is called the "frequency-following response." Don't worry: it is safe, trust me. Even when you're listening to your favorite music, for example, your brain is being effected by the speed of the music's rhythmic pulse, whether you were consciously aware of it or not. Your brain is constantly receiving stimulation from outside, thus explaining why some environments make you anxious or others make you feel peaceful. Just think of how much your brain experiences when watching a movie! But through the use of brainwave technology we can actively participate in directing our consciousness in any direction we want to go. We can explore our inner worlds!
Here are a few examples of the technology you can explore, from cheapest to most expensive (in US dollars). Your basic choice is between whether you want a simple, ready-made audio CD to just jump into instant meditation and brainwave exploration; or whether you want to experiment, learn how to make your own entrainment program using computer software, extra devices, teaching yourself over time, and figuring things out on your own.
BrainWave Generator (FREE)
Free download of software for building your own brainwave-entraining audio files. Probably the simplest way to get started. Few "bells and whistles," as the other following pre-packaged CDs might offer.
http://www.bwgen.com/
Center for Neuroacoustic Research ($16 and up)
A more serious, less commercial, avenue for purchasing brainwave entrainment audio CDs. I even found a box set of their CDs at a Half-Price Bookstore once for $5.00! Shop around!
http://neuroacoustic.com/
Immrama Institute ($35 and up)
I've heard good things about their Insight and Focus audio CDs. Just buy a CD and listen. The brainwave entrainment technology is embedded underneath soothing music or sounds.
http://www.immrama.org/
Transparent Corporation ($45 and up)
More advanced type of software that lets you build your own audio and/or visual entrainment experience, just using your computer. Create raw, simple binaural-beat sounds, or combine with background music or other sound effects. Integrate with light and sound machines. Teach yourself the software and the sky is the limit. It can also instantly generate entrainment programs for you, based on criteria you've given the software. I have Neuro-Programmer 2 and highly recommend it. Easy to use. Excellent help info and instructions included. Unlimited potential. Download their demo and try it. Their web site is also very informative!
http://www.transparentcorp.com/
Mind Machines ($90 and up)
Devices that provide both light and sound stimulation, or more. Some can be used in conjunction with the audio CDs and computer software listed above, to create your own sessions.
http://www.mindmachines.com/
http://www.mindmachine.com/
Holosync by Centerpointe (about $190 for first level (4-6 months); many more levels beyond)
I've had the most profound, illuminating experiences and growth with their CDs. At least order the free demo and try it out. They have a lot of slick advertising, which can be off-putting for some, but I know from experience that their technology really works. The brainwave entrainment technology is hidden behind "nature" sounds like rain, birds, and bells. Their system also provides clear guidance, support, and a path to follow. I am looking forward to about 20 years with their program and I know I will savor every second.
http://www.centerpointe.com/
Explore. Stay tuned. I will tell you about my experiences in future installments.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Unmasking the Self
This is probably going to sound a little arrogant to say on my part, but I am coming to feel that this blog is helping me to unpeel the layers of my many "masks" hiding my true Self.
I have found throughout my life that I wear many "masks." You probably know what I mean (and I'm not talking about literal masks here). Depending on who I interact with, the "mask" I present to others is perceived in certain ways; the "mask" is viewed from different angles. Thus my closest family members know me in certain ways that, in contrast to my-coworkers or neighbors, outsiders could never possibly know. Likewise my husband, of course, knows me in ways that no one else on Earth will probably ever know. The "mask" for my family members comes colored with much personal history, the decades of my development from baby to child to adult. The "mask" that my co-workers see is relatively "newly formed," representing the person I've evolved into and become in the past year or so, yet based on accumulations and refinements of many previous "masks." It is the "mask" for society, the world, for fitting in with the crowd and getting along. And it could go both ways; maybe the "mask" viewed by my closest family members is not as luminous as the "mask" I'm wearing for my co-workers because my family members may have developed prejudices about me over time (not necessarily good or bad prejudices, just "stuck" opinions), based on their decades of "knowing" me. So in a way, the people who think they know me the best, may in fact be clouded by their own perceptions of what they think they know about me. I can have many "masks" but I have little control over how others are viewing or perceiving my "masks." And even within myself, my own perception of my "masks" could be totally different from how I'm imagining that others are perceiving me! "Perception creates reality" as A Course in Miracles says. So each and every one of us is living in our own unique reality, never really knowing, authentically, the experience of another's reality (perception).
So what to do with all these "masks," I wonder? Lately (well, maybe for the last five years or so), I have been trying to take them off, one by one, and examine them to see which ones are worth keeping and which ones are not. To figure out which ones are a more accurate reflection of the real me hiding on the inside. Have you ever examined your "masks" or thought about them? The funny thing about the "masks" is that they can really create false barriers when interacting with others. It's like putting up a wall of fear which can be very hard to break through. It takes courage to cut off the toughest "masks" and expose one's authentic hidden self (and ultimately, that Self-with-a-capital "S"). Courage that many people don't find until they're on their death bed and faced with the end of their existence and everything they've ever known. And I find it ironic that it is the oldest "masks" I wear, the ones clouded by my personal history, that are the hardest ones to remove; and this in turn means that sometimes the people who ought to know me the best, may actually know me the least. And the ones who "know" me within the past few years may actually "know" me in a more genuine, authentic way merely because I believe I am now showing my best, most evolved self!
I am not passing any judgment here on anyone, or saying that certain types of my "masks" are "right" or "wrong" (black-and-white thinking is such a shame); I'm merely observing something about myself, what I am, what I think I am, or what I'm becoming. It is interesting to contemplate! I have no answers. Just observations.
Have you taken a peek under your "masks" lately? Do you know who you are?
I have found throughout my life that I wear many "masks." You probably know what I mean (and I'm not talking about literal masks here). Depending on who I interact with, the "mask" I present to others is perceived in certain ways; the "mask" is viewed from different angles. Thus my closest family members know me in certain ways that, in contrast to my-coworkers or neighbors, outsiders could never possibly know. Likewise my husband, of course, knows me in ways that no one else on Earth will probably ever know. The "mask" for my family members comes colored with much personal history, the decades of my development from baby to child to adult. The "mask" that my co-workers see is relatively "newly formed," representing the person I've evolved into and become in the past year or so, yet based on accumulations and refinements of many previous "masks." It is the "mask" for society, the world, for fitting in with the crowd and getting along. And it could go both ways; maybe the "mask" viewed by my closest family members is not as luminous as the "mask" I'm wearing for my co-workers because my family members may have developed prejudices about me over time (not necessarily good or bad prejudices, just "stuck" opinions), based on their decades of "knowing" me. So in a way, the people who think they know me the best, may in fact be clouded by their own perceptions of what they think they know about me. I can have many "masks" but I have little control over how others are viewing or perceiving my "masks." And even within myself, my own perception of my "masks" could be totally different from how I'm imagining that others are perceiving me! "Perception creates reality" as A Course in Miracles says. So each and every one of us is living in our own unique reality, never really knowing, authentically, the experience of another's reality (perception).
So what to do with all these "masks," I wonder? Lately (well, maybe for the last five years or so), I have been trying to take them off, one by one, and examine them to see which ones are worth keeping and which ones are not. To figure out which ones are a more accurate reflection of the real me hiding on the inside. Have you ever examined your "masks" or thought about them? The funny thing about the "masks" is that they can really create false barriers when interacting with others. It's like putting up a wall of fear which can be very hard to break through. It takes courage to cut off the toughest "masks" and expose one's authentic hidden self (and ultimately, that Self-with-a-capital "S"). Courage that many people don't find until they're on their death bed and faced with the end of their existence and everything they've ever known. And I find it ironic that it is the oldest "masks" I wear, the ones clouded by my personal history, that are the hardest ones to remove; and this in turn means that sometimes the people who ought to know me the best, may actually know me the least. And the ones who "know" me within the past few years may actually "know" me in a more genuine, authentic way merely because I believe I am now showing my best, most evolved self!
I am not passing any judgment here on anyone, or saying that certain types of my "masks" are "right" or "wrong" (black-and-white thinking is such a shame); I'm merely observing something about myself, what I am, what I think I am, or what I'm becoming. It is interesting to contemplate! I have no answers. Just observations.
Have you taken a peek under your "masks" lately? Do you know who you are?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Enormous Gratitude
I have so many things to be thankful for these days. My life is so full of blessings. What could have been my darkest hour has become one of my best. I am thankful for my life and for everything that has ever happened to me.
On Monday, November 5th, I finally got some pain relief for the herniated disc in my lower back. I had not had a single waking hour of pain relief (except the times I could lie motionless and flat on my back) since the pain started suddenly on October 13. After starting the new medicine on Monday, I woke up at 3 AM the next morning feeling that something big had changed in my back. Incredibly the pain was significantly reduced, almost like someone had released a giant vice that had been crushing my spine. It was truly like a literal weight had been lifted. I never had such a feeling of relief in my life. When I look back at the kidney surgery of April, that seems now like a pin prick in comparison to the back pain. I never realized how much I could tolerate until now. This sort of event can really increase your tolerance for hardship.
The past month has been such an eye-opener for me, mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am not angry or sad about my herniated disc. I think it is a real blessing in disguise and has made me a better person in terms of feeling more compassion for the suffering of others, discovering I had some serious health issues that were hidden and needed to be addressed, and most of all realizing how many good people I have the honor to know in my life. I am surrounded by the best family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors I could ever have imagined. I have an amazing husband who has shown he will do anything for me "in sickness and in health."
I don't want to forget this moment in my life. I don't want to go back to taking anyone for granted, or taking any moment, good or bad, for granted. I don't want this feeling of gratitude to diminish or disappear. Everything that happens in life can be a lesson for learning and improving one's self. Everything must happen for a reason, but we need to be open to seeing the meaning everywhere, even in the tiniest detail. If we could only see the good in every event, rather than jumping to conclusions of victimhood, hopelessness, despair, or bad luck. I wish the whole world could find this realization, this doorway to joy.
Thank you, God, for everyone in my life. Thank you for every moment fully lived and breathed, and for opening so many new doors recently. I hope I can keep learning and growing. I hope I do not squander this opportunity. I am awash in gratitude and love. Bless the world. Realize deep inside yourself that you exist, that you live. Feel it as if you only just discovered this truth for yourself for the first time. Become numinous!
On Monday, November 5th, I finally got some pain relief for the herniated disc in my lower back. I had not had a single waking hour of pain relief (except the times I could lie motionless and flat on my back) since the pain started suddenly on October 13. After starting the new medicine on Monday, I woke up at 3 AM the next morning feeling that something big had changed in my back. Incredibly the pain was significantly reduced, almost like someone had released a giant vice that had been crushing my spine. It was truly like a literal weight had been lifted. I never had such a feeling of relief in my life. When I look back at the kidney surgery of April, that seems now like a pin prick in comparison to the back pain. I never realized how much I could tolerate until now. This sort of event can really increase your tolerance for hardship.
The past month has been such an eye-opener for me, mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am not angry or sad about my herniated disc. I think it is a real blessing in disguise and has made me a better person in terms of feeling more compassion for the suffering of others, discovering I had some serious health issues that were hidden and needed to be addressed, and most of all realizing how many good people I have the honor to know in my life. I am surrounded by the best family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors I could ever have imagined. I have an amazing husband who has shown he will do anything for me "in sickness and in health."
I don't want to forget this moment in my life. I don't want to go back to taking anyone for granted, or taking any moment, good or bad, for granted. I don't want this feeling of gratitude to diminish or disappear. Everything that happens in life can be a lesson for learning and improving one's self. Everything must happen for a reason, but we need to be open to seeing the meaning everywhere, even in the tiniest detail. If we could only see the good in every event, rather than jumping to conclusions of victimhood, hopelessness, despair, or bad luck. I wish the whole world could find this realization, this doorway to joy.
Thank you, God, for everyone in my life. Thank you for every moment fully lived and breathed, and for opening so many new doors recently. I hope I can keep learning and growing. I hope I do not squander this opportunity. I am awash in gratitude and love. Bless the world. Realize deep inside yourself that you exist, that you live. Feel it as if you only just discovered this truth for yourself for the first time. Become numinous!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
"God is the Seeker"
Two of the books I got at Loome's the other day are fantastic. I'm working on The Inner Eye of Love by William Johnston, and Search for the Meaning of Life: Essays and Reflections on the Mystical Experience by Willigis Jager. Both books are written by Catholics (monks and/or priests) and delve into mysticism and esotericism; but there is also a great openness to the wisdom from the Eastern spiritual traditions like Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism. Jager's book even appears to mix in ideas I've seen from the works of Fritjof Capra - the intersection of quantum physics with mysticism, or the idea that science doesn't have to be anathema to spirituality. I highly recommend these books, and I've only read the first chapter of each!
Here's some food for thought from Jager's book:
The quest for the meaning of life, the search for our true essence, or - as we Christians usually say - for God, is part of the basic principle of evolution. Actually it isn't a search at all. Rather the Divine is unfolding in us and through us. The Divine comes to consciousness in us. We think that as human beings we are on a quest for God. But we're not the ones searching for the Ultimate Reality. Rather it is the Ultimate Reality that causes the dissatisfied yearning and the search in us. God is the seeker. God awakens in us. We ourselves can't do anything; we can only let go so the Divine can unfold itself. We can only "get out of God's way," as Eckhart says. The essential nature reveals itself if only we don't prevent it. And if there is a redemption, then we are redeemed from being possessed by our ego so that our real selves can spread their wings.
Wow. "God is the seeker" and redemption from our own ego (rather than from our sins/mistakes) - these are really new ideas to me! That blew me away! I will keep reading and let you know what I'm thinking about. This is cool.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Bookstore Paradise
(Click on pictures for larger views)We rented a car for the weekend (we haven't owned a car for a few years; Twin Cities has great public transit, and until recently I could walk everywhere) since I'm pretty much crippled up and was tired of being stuck at home for days and days. So we went to Stillwater, Minnesota, for some enriching, wholesome, book therapy! Here are a few shots of Loome Theological Bookstore, an awesome spectacle and quirky place. It was formerly an old Swedish church, and still retains the stained glass windows and rickety hardwood floors. To save money (I presume) they don't heat or cool the large main part of the building, so in the winter you can see your breath while browsing! There are plenty of nooks and crannies, balconies, and narrow wooden staircases. It is a real treasure trove! You could easily spend a whole day (or two) in here. It is the largest second-hand theological bookstore in the world. Loome's also has a second store in town with a more diverse selection (which contains virtually everything else outside of Christian theological subjects).
I got some books on my usual interests: mysticism, esoteric Christianity, meditation, prayer, sacred arts, psychology, and saints. George got some real nice books on one of his favorite people: Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. I hadn't realized they had almost an entire bookcase on Teilhard, with many books in French or German. It was upstairs in a secluded balcony, which also included an expansive collection of the works of Evelyn Underhill, Karl Rahner, and Saints Thérèse of Lisieux and Teresa of Avila, and Thomas Merton. (Oooh, yes! All the cool people together in one area!). One reason I considered becoming Catholic had to do with Thomas Merton and Teilhard de Chardin. If these two geniuses and modern-day mystics could become Catholic, then there must be something valid to Catholicism! In my book these guys are already saints, if not Doctors of the Church. If you want to consider the idea of me - a former hard-core cynical atheist for 20+ years - becoming a Catholic, then you are welcome to use my change of heart to promote the cause for Merton and Teilhard's canonizations!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tavener Quote # 1
John Tavener (b. 1944), a British composer, is one of my favorite composers, ever. His music is deeply spiritual, metaphysical, and influenced by perennial philosophy and the Eastern Orthodox faith. His music, and the spiritual essence behind it, is a huge inspiration for me. I have dreamed of being a composer since about age 14, and when I discovered Tavener's music, many years later, I found someone who was following a path that I wanted to follow, but up until that time never knew that such a path was possible or that there were even words to describe it. Here's a quotation by Tavener, from his book, The Music of Silence - A Composer's Testament:
More later...
I think we have to go back. I think in the end intuition teaches us everything. Leave the universities of the world and go into the universities of the desert. So say the Fathers. I am, of course, talking about metaphysical intuition; the only way still unexplored by our modernist hell.Tavener's ideas, and profound music, mean so much to me. For years and years I had been concerned about "fitting in" and "following the rules" (i.e. going to a university, mastering Western theory, getting a degree in composition, becoming "legit" by Academia's standards). Yet, my gut feeling has always been telling me that there was something wrong with all of this. I was once nearly at the door of Academia, attempting to get inside; but still, something hard to define, disgusted me about it and I just felt I had to find my own way. I did not enter that door. And now, in many ways, I am so relieved.
First of all, one has to say we know nothing, and from that abyss we must abandon all preconceived ideas, whether it be serialism, sonata form, development, fugue, canon, and so on, and get rid of it all, so that one has nothing left in one's mind to begin with. It feels like an abyss. This does, of course, presuppose that one believes in some kind of higher reality. But even if not, let the young composer try to forget everything he or she knows, just to see what happens. If it's just silence, then okay, it's just silence. If it's just one or two banal notes, okay, then it's just one or two banal notes. But I guarantee that if one continues with this, gradually a music starts to form inside one, and who knows, we might start to realize another kind of reality does after all exist.
More later...
Monday, October 29, 2007
A Powerful Formula for Living
I learned the following formula fairly recently from reading The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. On the face of it, this formula seems so simple and obvious. You would think that this is common sense and that the whole world must know about it and live it. But from what I've learned from experience, and even in my own life for many, many years, this formula really seems unknown to most people. I can think of lots of people who have gone through their entire lives never realizing something like this. Here is the formula:
Response: Now here is the critical element. If any of the above events happened to you, how would you respond? Would you be angry? Furious? Mildly upset? Amused? Disbelieving?
Outcome: Your outcome all depends on your response. So say somebody got cut off in traffic. One person might be terribly pissed off, honk their horn, give the finger, escalate it into road rage, etc. Somebody else might be flustered for a second and then just let it go and forget about it. Or say somebody was told that they had cancer and only had a year to live. One person might be devastated and think God was against them, become enormously depressed, and die even sooner than one year. Another person might respond by going out and doing all those things they never did, and actually living more fully in that last year than in the previous ten years combined.
So the basic point is this: you have the power to choose your response. An event is just an event. An event just is, it just happens. You decide if it is a good or bad event, or something in between. You decide how you will respond emotionally. You decide what the event means to you; the event, in itself, has no inherent meaning until you ascribe one to it. You decide whether an event is hugely important or just a fleeting little insignificant trifle. But the trick is that each one of us can have a completely different response to an event. Something that sets you off to explode in rage, might for me just be a little nuisance, or not a big deal at all. We are all different. But the point is, that it is our response that is different, not the event.
A lot of people I know, instead of examining how they respond to an event, blame the event instead. For example, suppose you've planned to go out for a picnic for a very special occasion. It's been planned for weeks and weeks, you get all the food prepared and have your basket ready and your bottle of champagne. Lately the weather has been particularly gorgeous, too, so you're really looking forward to that special day. But then the day arrives and just as you get ready to go out the door to the park a huge storm cloud appears. The sky turns pitch black and the rain just pours and pours, along with thunder and lightning. The day is a total washout. So how would you respond?
Now, I'm not saying that you wouldn't have a right to be upset in such a situation. I'm not saying that the goal, necessarily, is to be always be ecstatically-giddy-happy-lovey-dovey about every single event that ever happens to you in your life. The important thing, rather, is to notice the intensity of your response to an event. The intensity could determine the level of suffering you bring upon yourself. Through mindful awareness of your response to an event, you can control what emotion you will feel as well as the intensity of it. Is a rained out picnic, as one example of an event, worth being horribly angry and devastated? Is it the event's fault that you're upset or could choose not to be upset? Could there be a better response? Could you find an alternative outcome to turn the day around into something positive instead of letting the unexpected event (the rain) ruin your whole day?
There is no right or wrong answer. The answer is what you decide works best for you. But once you realize that you have the power and you have control over how you respond to an event, then you also have the capability to limit or determine how much suffering you bring upon yourself (and, potentially, to others). You bring the suffering upon yourself or you do not. It is ultimately your choice.
Think of events that set you off. Could you choose a different response? If you don't like the outcomes that you are getting in your life, take a look at how you are responding and try something different.
Just something interesting to think about. I often wonder what kind of world we could create if we taught children this concept from day one.
E + R = O
(Event + Response = Outcome)
Event: This could be anything. From getting a paper cut on your pinkie finger, to getting cut off in traffic, to finding out that your best friend totally disagrees with you on a hot-button political issue, to getting fired from your job, to learning that you have cancer.Response: Now here is the critical element. If any of the above events happened to you, how would you respond? Would you be angry? Furious? Mildly upset? Amused? Disbelieving?
Outcome: Your outcome all depends on your response. So say somebody got cut off in traffic. One person might be terribly pissed off, honk their horn, give the finger, escalate it into road rage, etc. Somebody else might be flustered for a second and then just let it go and forget about it. Or say somebody was told that they had cancer and only had a year to live. One person might be devastated and think God was against them, become enormously depressed, and die even sooner than one year. Another person might respond by going out and doing all those things they never did, and actually living more fully in that last year than in the previous ten years combined.
So the basic point is this: you have the power to choose your response. An event is just an event. An event just is, it just happens. You decide if it is a good or bad event, or something in between. You decide how you will respond emotionally. You decide what the event means to you; the event, in itself, has no inherent meaning until you ascribe one to it. You decide whether an event is hugely important or just a fleeting little insignificant trifle. But the trick is that each one of us can have a completely different response to an event. Something that sets you off to explode in rage, might for me just be a little nuisance, or not a big deal at all. We are all different. But the point is, that it is our response that is different, not the event.
A lot of people I know, instead of examining how they respond to an event, blame the event instead. For example, suppose you've planned to go out for a picnic for a very special occasion. It's been planned for weeks and weeks, you get all the food prepared and have your basket ready and your bottle of champagne. Lately the weather has been particularly gorgeous, too, so you're really looking forward to that special day. But then the day arrives and just as you get ready to go out the door to the park a huge storm cloud appears. The sky turns pitch black and the rain just pours and pours, along with thunder and lightning. The day is a total washout. So how would you respond?
Now, I'm not saying that you wouldn't have a right to be upset in such a situation. I'm not saying that the goal, necessarily, is to be always be ecstatically-giddy-happy-lovey-dovey about every single event that ever happens to you in your life. The important thing, rather, is to notice the intensity of your response to an event. The intensity could determine the level of suffering you bring upon yourself. Through mindful awareness of your response to an event, you can control what emotion you will feel as well as the intensity of it. Is a rained out picnic, as one example of an event, worth being horribly angry and devastated? Is it the event's fault that you're upset or could choose not to be upset? Could there be a better response? Could you find an alternative outcome to turn the day around into something positive instead of letting the unexpected event (the rain) ruin your whole day?
There is no right or wrong answer. The answer is what you decide works best for you. But once you realize that you have the power and you have control over how you respond to an event, then you also have the capability to limit or determine how much suffering you bring upon yourself (and, potentially, to others). You bring the suffering upon yourself or you do not. It is ultimately your choice.
Think of events that set you off. Could you choose a different response? If you don't like the outcomes that you are getting in your life, take a look at how you are responding and try something different.
Just something interesting to think about. I often wonder what kind of world we could create if we taught children this concept from day one.
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