I am fascinated by the concepts of personal growth, inner evolution, spiritual development, awakening, and the human potential movement. Perhaps this looks like a lot of different words, but to me they are saying the same thing -- the essence of our existence is to realize our highest potential within our lifetime, and this potential is realized in an ongoing process of evolution.
When I use the term “evolution” I’m not talking about Darwin’s theory or about scientific materialism or about the creationism debate. By evolution I’m talking about one’s inner process of growth or development, our potential to reach higher states and stages of consciousness, which is at the heart of any esoteric understanding of the Gospels or any other spiritual tradition. Evolution occurs within us intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and so on, through many different aspects of our humanity and consciousness. Every living being, and even societies and groupings of things, goes through stages of development. The seed does not remain a seed forever.
Evolution rarely follows a straight line. How often do we set goals for ourselves only to immediately fall out of our discipline and struggle to get back on our path? How easy is it to fall into a stagnant state of inner and outer lethargy if we do not constantly learn new things or challenge ourselves to keep growing, evolving, and thinking in new ways?
In the past three or four months it has become even more apparent to me how powerful the human mind is in creating one’s perception of reality, one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Much of who we think we are has already been programmed or ingrained into us during our childhood, before we were consciously aware of what was happening to us; before we could make a conscious decision whether such programming was constructive for our future well-being or not. I believe part of one’s process of inner evolution absolutely requires that we take a deep look at the way our mind operates, what it focuses on, believes, values, creates, and so on. If we do not truly examine ourselves and begin to consciously think on our own, then we risk going through life as mindless robots, automatons, programmed to keep repeating the same mistakes and sufferings over and over again, within our own life and over generations. We are not truly free or autonomous in such a situation. We become an automatic response mechanism prodded by external events and circumstances, blaming the outside world for our sufferings when really the problem begins within our own minds. We are asleep and will continue to remain asleep until we consciously decide (or allow ourselves) to open our consciousness to new avenues of growth and potential. We must take responsibility for ourselves and for what our mind creates. In spiritual terms, our old self must die in order that a new, greater self can be born. This is evolution in the deepest sense.
But what a struggle it is to find a way to kill our ego (our false sense of self) or to surrender and allow our old self to die! Our egos are greatly attached to the illusions of what we ‘think’ is important, much of which may not even be our authentic thoughts or beliefs anyway, but just programming. We think we feel a sense of safety by holding on to what we know, even though it is not healthy for us to continue living in that way; we end up holding ourselves back, blocking our own way from our greatest potential. We become like the seed that has fallen on rocky ground, starved for nourishment. The spiritual teacher, G.I. Gurdjieff writes:
[Man] is attached to everything in his life; attached to his imagination, attached to his stupidity, attached even to his suffering -- possibly to his suffering more than anything else. He must first free himself from attachment. Attachment to things, identification with things keeps alive a thousand I’s in a man. These I’s must die in order that the big I may be born. But how can they be made to die?... It is at this point that the possibility of awakening comes to the rescue. To awaken means to realize one’s nothingness, that is, to realize one’s complete and absolute mechanicalness, and one’s complete and absolute helplessness... So long as a man is not horrified at himself, he knows nothing about himself.We have enormous power to create the life we want, if only we wake up to it in time. It is possible to consciously choose, decide, and take responsibility for our own lives, beginning with how we use our minds. But it must start with becoming consciously aware of our own thoughts, emotions, behaviors, opinions, etc. We need to become "horrified" by our false self so much that we are forced to change. We must step back from ourselves in our own minds and observe how our minds operate. Question everything. Question whether your thoughts or opinions are really your own. Question why certain ideas, people, or events make you upset or why others satisfy you. It IS possible to change yourself once you become aware of how your mind works. You are not a slave to it unless you remain unconscious. Take it apart and find out what’s there. Observe your own thoughts and feelings without judgment. Discard anything that holds you back from your highest potential. Focus on what you truly want.
When you take on this responsibility and challenge of delving into your own mind you begin to take an active part in the process of your own evolution as well as the unfoldment of Spirit itself. This is the gateway to true development and growth and the heart of any spiritual path to your greatest Self.
As the Catholic priest and Zen master, Willigis Jager, wrote in Mysticism for Modern Times:
Mysticism says, “The world is born anew in each moment.” It assumes that this ever-new creation is not achieved through the hand of a creator standing outside of evolution. It occurs by itself, following its own impulse. In the view of mystical or evolutionary theology, God is not the initiator of evolution, acting from outside. Evolution is God unfolding himself.
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